Firefist of Incredible Dragon (1982)

Firefist of Incredible Dragon (1982)
Korean Title: 소림사 주천귀동
Translation: Juchon-Gwidong in Shaolin Temple
Chinese Title: 少林寺酒天鬼童
Translation: Shaolin Temple Drunken Ghost Boy

 

Starring: Lee Jae-yeong, Im Pung, Chen Pao-Liang, Pan Chang-Ming, Han Hui, Ju Yong-jong, Park Sang-suk, Kim Yu-haeng, Ju Eun-seop, Park Hyo-keun
Director: Kim Jong-seong
Action Director: Ko Pui

 

The last time I watched a Korean horror-kung fu-comedy, that film was Dragon vs. Vampire, which was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, period. It was awful: devoid of action, scares, production values and any sort of purpose. Firefist of Incredible Dragon is a movie in a similar vein. Originally titled Juchon-Gwidong in Shaolin Temple, it was picked up by Tomas Tang and Filmark for distribution around 1984 and given a more “dynamic” title. Considering that the Shaolin Temple doesn’t even figure into the story, I can’t argue that a change was necessary. However, there is no “firefist” technique, nor do any of the characters’ skills reach “dragon” status. It is surreal, though.

We begin with the grim image of a bunch of women lying dead in the snow somewhere in (presumably) Northern China. A bunch of Evil Goons™ show up to bury the bodies. As they do so, what looks like a flying papier mâché heart—apparently, it is a magical undead fetus—starts flying around and killing the men. This is going to happen several other times throughout the movie’s run time. Cue to the local village, which is run by the evil nobleman Liao (Chen Pao-Liang, A Girl Fighter and Heroine of Tribulation). Liao has a penchant for kidnapping nubile young women, torturing them, raping them, murdering them, and then having his lackeys bury them outside of town. When we meet Liao, we learn that his wife (Han Hui, of Daughters of Darkness and Kwangtung Viper) is having a torrid affair with his second-in-command (Pan Chang-Ming, of Ma Su Chen and Lightning of Bruce Lee).

The next day, Liao’s men are terrorizing the populace for no reason when one of the thugs (Kim Yu-haeng, of Tiger of Northland and Eagle vs. Silver Fox) tries to pick a fight with a travelling magician/martial artist, Kun-Kun (Im Pung). Second-in-Command arrives to stop his cohort from getting into a street fight, but is amazed at how much Kun-Kun looks like someone else. When he tells Liao about Kun-Kun, Liao sends him to dig up the body of one of his rape toys, which was buried in the snow some time back. They are surprised to find that nobody is there!

Kun-Kun turns out to be the twin sister of said rape victims, who has come to town looking for her missing sister and brother-in-law. She tries to sneak into Liao’s house, but is injured and rescued at the last moment by Chen Tin-Chi (Lee Jae-yong, Double Dragon in Last Duel and Snake Fist of a Buddhist Dragon), a wandering kung fu (or Taekwondo) fighter. During the escape, Kun-Kun is “lost” and is found by an old man (clearly a young man wearing a wig and a bad latex scar). The old man tells her how her sister was kidnapped and raped by Liao, before miscarrying and dying in the snow. Kun-Kun is eventually reunited with Chen Tin-Chi and they go to an old man’s house to hide out. Coincidentally, the old man’s daughter (Park Sang-suk), has become Liao’s latest victim.

Chen Tin-Chi goes to Liao’s place looking for the daughter, but is beaten in a big kung fu battle and captured. Liao sends his men to capture Kun-Kun, but she is saved by the ghost of her sister. Meanwhile, Liao is having nightmares of being attacked by the ghosts of the women he has raped, so he sends for a Taoist Priest and his pickpocket nephew/assistant (Chin Lung, One Armed Against Nine Killers and The Swift Shaolin Boxers) to ward off the evil spirits. Those two characters are so goofy that you don’t know whether or not they’re charlatans or just bad at their jobs. However, when the nephew catches Liao’s wife in bed with the Second-in-Command, he gets killed for “knowing too much,” causing his uncle to call upon the spirit of the dead sister to possess his nephew’s body and deliver the kung fu justice. By this point, Kun-Kun has freed Chen Tin-Chi and those two (plus the sister’s ghost) are ready for a final showdown with Liao.

Firefist of Incredible Dragon is a hard film to discuss, because it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Granted, the version I watched on Youtube was missing about 12 minutes, so this could have actually been an in-depth analysis of the Human Condition. Probably not, though. This is a movie where most of the killings are carried out by a Magical Flying Fetus, which does stuff like fly into people’s faces, (somehow) slice off people’s limbs, knock people onto sharp objects, and dive-bomb into people, causing giant explosions. And at no point do any of the main characters—good or bad—actually acknowledge this occurrence. To be honest, I don’t think they’re ever even aware that there is a papier mâché placenta plopping about, killing the Expendable Meat.

There are a handful of fight scenes, choreographed by someone named Po Kui (as per Filmark’s bogus credits). There is nobody on the IMDB whose name corresponds to that, so I wonder if it’s a false name for Pan Chang-Ming (the Second-in-Command), who does have a solid filmography in Taiwan as a fight choreographer. Being a Korean production, the “kung fu” is actually Taekwondo and most of the those fighting onscreen are kickers whose talents range from “solid” to “quite good.” Sadly, a lot of the good choreography is ruined by excessive undercranking and some wire-assisted moves that look at home in an early 1990s fighting game. Pan Chang-Ming himself displayed some good footwork in Lightning of Bruce Lee and he makes a good showing for himself in his fight scenes.

I wish that instead of a conventional chop-socky climax, the film had followed up on the elements of Liao’s nightmares and ended the film with him facing the ghosts of his victims in a wired-up free-for-all. That might’ve fit the more surreal aspects of the movie more than your typical flurry of fists and kicks. As it stands, Firefist of Incredible Dragon is mainly the sort of movie you invite your snarky friends over to point and laugh at.

This review is part of "Month of the Dragon"