Nocturnity P.I. Volume 2 by Scott Blasingame

 Nocturnity P.I. Volume 2 by Scott Blasingame

Martial arts author extraordinaire Scott Blasingame returns to the snarky, fight-filled world of private investigator Parker Cassidy in this second anthology book.

For the uninitiated, Parker Cassidy is a cop-turned-P.I. who is also a former amateur kickboxer, known by his peers and fans as "The Kempo Kid." His mouth is as fast as his fists and kicks, and he unleashes a barrage of puns and dad jokes as he deals with the scummiest elements of our society...and I don't mean the President's cabinet. Although Blasingame is just as detailed and creative in the martial arts-in-prose as he is expected to be, he is a master of entertaining dialog and the characters are always fun to read, even when they are engaging in fisticuffs.

In volume 2, Cassidy finds himself taking on a plethora of new enemies: mobsters, seven-foot-tall mountains of muscle, arms dealers, gangbangers, crooked cops...the whole she-bang-a-bang. The stories also bring back supporting characters from the previous book, including "Joe Joe" the Bounty Hunter, Keith "Clubfoot" Cunningham, and a certain deadbeat dad. Some of his run-ins with villainy are directly related to stories from the previous anthology, which gives the collection a nice sense of continuity, like a mobster trying to save face from a scuffle at a chop-shop in the previous book.

The book also gives us not one, but two opportunities to see (or read) Parker interacting with his mother, who was the butt of so many jokes in the first story. And she really is a piece of work. One of the few people who can keep up with his sense of humor, she has a few tricks of her own up her sleeve when the bad guys get in too close.

The best story is "Worst First Date," in which Parker has a reunion with a character from Volume 1. That one is filled with fighting, gunplay, romance, intrigue and even some heartbreak. Great writing from Scott. As in the last book, the anthology ends in a sparring match between Parker and another character, although Scott finds some creative ways to not make it a simple rehash of "Sparring Partners." And as usual, I enjoy the banter between those two particular characters. And one running theme of the stories is that very few of them end with him getting paid; a lot of the drama that he is getting mixed up in occurs after hours, or circumstances prevent him from making the meager salary he already earns. Poor guy. Wants to do the right thing. Takes the lumps to get it done. And then has nothing to show for it.

3 Capsule Reviews of Kung Fu films from 1973

Chinese Kung Fu and Acupuncture (1973) - 
Chinese Title: 中國針灸
Translation: Chinese Acupuncture

Starring: Chen Ming, Shao Pei-Yu, Tsao Chien, Sun Yueh, Yu Sung-Chao, Lan Yun, Chiang Ching-Feng
Director: Sun Sheng-Yuen
Action Director: Chan Long, Lin Feng-Sheng

Taiwanese basher told as a story about the greatness of acupuncture from a modern-day practitioner to a gwailo reporter. A bunch of Japanese priates led by a karate expert named Haishan (Lan Yun, of Heroine Susan and Enter the Panther) show up at a Chinese coastal village to rape the women and kill the menfolk. They are assisted by their interpreter, Ng Tuk (Sun Yueh, Lightning of Bruce Lee), whose family resides in that same village. Some of the pirates are killed by a local girl named Pak Yu-Mei (the lovely Shao Pei-Yu), who is suffering from some disease, but goes into undercranked kung fu overdrive whenever she jams a pair of acupuncture needles into her neck.

After the first scuffle with the pirates, the villagers get another acupuncturist, Chao Hung-Wu (Chen Ming, of the awful Kung Fu Rebels), to teach kung fu to the local militia. Chao gets in a fight with Haishan and is almost beaten to death. He is healed by a Taoist priest (Tsao Chien, of Infernal Street and The Hero of Chiu Chow), whose acupuncture treatment improves his kung fu. In his next fight with Haishan, he holds his own, and the Japanese pirate is defeated by Pak Yu-Mei's acupuncture skills. Ng Tuk takes the injured Haishan back to Japan and presents him to his master, the karate grandmaster Wuchuanhou (Yu Sung-Chao, who also was in Lightning of Bruce Lee). Wuchuanhou goes to China and beats the hell ou of Hung-Wu, but gets beaten by the Taoist priest when he tries to steal the guy's acupuncture manual. So, he gets a powerful katana expert (Lu Biao) to go to China and fight the heroes. And then that expert's brother (Wei Yi-Ping) gets involved in the fracas, too.

The action was staged by Chan Long (My Life is on the Line) and Lin Feng-Sheng (Stormy Sun/Super Man-Chu) and it's pretty good, surprisingly. I was skeptical at first because the first brawl had a lot of punches and kicks that were obviously not connecting and looked bad, even by early 70s standards. It gets better as the film progresses, though. There is a fair amount of undercranking, which is completely unnecessary and even laughable, especially the first time that Shao Pei-Yu sticks herself with acupuncture needles. This film is interesting in that acupuncture is used to heal, paralyze one's enemies (a lá Kiss of the Dragon) and jump-start one's kung fu. Lead actor Chen Ming is actually adept at screen fighting, so much so that I'm surprised he did so little in the genre. Chan Long shows up in the first melee and shows off some great moves, too. Too bad he doesn't fight after that. The final fight does drag on as many of these movies are wont to do. Chinese Kung Fu and Acupúncture is very much a cheapo-basher flick, but there are some good fights in it.


Lightning of Bruce Lee (1973)
Chinese Title: 勢不兩立
Translation: Unequal Power Stand

Starring: Lei Jun, Chin Kang, Chiang Fan, Liu Lili, Si Sin-Dai, Sun Yueh, Yu Sung-Chao
Director: Chung Gwok-Hang
Action Director: n/a

Despite the title--which is the original English title and not what the US distributors tacked on later--this is not an actual Brucesploitation film, but just a generic basher. The movie begins with two men (Lei Jun, who worked a lot with Jimmy Wang Yu, and Chin Kang, of The Snake Girl Drops In) mourning the death of their master. Chin Kang is a bit more ambitious and wants money and fame, much to the chagrin of his senior martial brother. The two scuffle and Chin makes a break for it. Some time later, Lei Jun arrives in a town to visit his girlfriend, Chin Chin (Chiang fan), whose father has recently died. The local loan shark/pimp (Sun Yueh, of The Pedicab Driver) is trying to force Chin Chin into prostitution to pay off a loan for her father's medical bills. The pimp in turn works for a crime boss, played by Duel with Samurai's Yu Sung-Chao. We later learn that Chin Kang is also working for him. Lei Jun steals some opium from some other thugs to pay off Chin Chin's loan, but the bad guys won't let him off that easily...

The fighting is pretty much constant, especially in the last 25 minutes or so. Lei Jun looks like he has training, but his skills are limited and he looks soft boned performing his moves. He throws up his hands whenever he kicks, making him look like he's going to fall over. Much better is Chin Kang as his brother, who packs a bit more power in his punches and kicks. The final fight between the two men and Yu Sung-Chao goes on for a very long time, for people who like endless basher movie finales. The best fighter in the cast is Pan Chang-Ming, who plays Sun Yueh's main enforcer. Pan Chang-Ming is mainly known as a C-list fight choreographer, working on lesser Angela Mao films like Duel with the Devils and Proud Horse in Flying Sand. His kicks trump those of all the other cast members and his punches are a lot crisper, too. Too bad he wasn't the main villain.


Superior Youngster (1973)
aka: Karado, the Hong Kong Cat; Karado, the Hand of Death; Super Kung Fu Kid 
Chinese Title: 小霸王
Translation: Little Overlord

Starring: Nick Cheung Lik, Bolo Yeung Sze, James Nam Seok-Hoon, Fong Yau, San Kuai, Mars, Tong Tin-Hei, Lee Tin-Ying
Director: Joseph Kong
Action Director: Wong Chi-Ming, Pao Jia

Pre-Enter the Dragon basher with a very similar cast to Tough Guy, which I liked a lot. There's Nick Cheung Lik, Fong Yau, San Kuan, Anna Ho, plus a bevy of stuntmen who went on to bigger things: Alan Chui, Tony Ching Siu-Tung, Yuen Biao, Yuen Bun, Billy Chan, and Mars. I was very impressed with Nick Cheung Lik and I need to watch more of his films.

Cheung Lik plays Ah Lung, a super-talented kung fu fighter who has an overdeveloped sense of justice, not unlike Alexander Fu Sheng's character in New Shaolin Boxers. After getting in a bunch of fights at home, he and his mother take a boat down the river to a village where his brother, Man Ho (James Nan), is  supposed to be staying. He finds out that his brother works for the local crime boss, Tiger (Bolo Yeung). Man Ho offers to get him a job with Tiger--who we learn is associated with the one of the local warlords--but Ah Lung turns him down. Some of the Warlords officers (Fong Yau and San Kuai) show up and it's basically non-stop fighting from there on out.

The action was staged by Wong Chi-Ming and Pao Jia. The latter had no real credit besides this. Wong Chi-Ming did stuntwork in close to 200 films during the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s. He was also a member of Yuen Bun's Stunt Team, contributing to the action in films like City War and Blood Stained Tradewind, in addition to some late-period Shaw films. Cheung Lik steals the show with his fast kicks and nunchaku skills. The final fight between him and Bolo Yeung on a ship goes on forever, with the two throwing down with fisticuffs, nunchaku, knives, bamboo poles and even anchors. In fact, the last 17 minutes can be characterized as extended fight at a quarry->prolonged fight on the beach->protracted fight on a ship. The film is worth it to watch Cheung Lik kick so much butt, even if the acting and dubbing are often laughably bad. That said, it isn't a film for newbies. 

3 Ninjas Knuckle Up (1995)

3 Ninjas Knuckle Up (1995)

 

Starring: Michael Treanor, Max Elliott Slade, Chad Power, Victor Wong, Charles Napier, Crystle Lightning, Patrick Kilpatrick, Don Shanks, Sheldon Peters Wolfchild
Director: Shin Sang-ok (as Simon Sheen)
Action Director: Lam Man-Cheung, Liu Han-Ching

 

I was ten years old when 3 Ninjas came out, although I don’t think I caught it until I was 11. I watched a few times at different friends’ houses, although by that time, I was already corrupted by the works of Jeff Speakman, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal. When Professor Toru Tanaka showed up in that movie, I was thinking of him killed people with single blows in The Perfect Weapon and wondering how those young upstarts could beat him without taking a hit. But the fact of the matter is, if you were into martial arts as a kid and had parents who actually enforced the Ratings System in your house, then stuff like TMNT and 3 Ninjas is what you had before Jackie Chan came along.

3 Ninjas Knuckle Up was the second sequel, even though it was filmed almost back-to-back with the first one. I’m not sure what the rights/distribution issues were, but the film’s release in the States was delayed by three years, coming out to little fanfare in 1995 (although I still remember seeing trailers for it on TV). The “real” second sequel, 3 Ninjas Kick Back, ended up coming out first. That film actually had new actors to play Rocky and Tum Tum, so it would definitely odd to watch that movie, see the new cast, and then see Knuckle Up and see the original cast members.

The movie starts out with Grandpa (Victor Wong, of Big Trouble in Little China and Year of the Dragon) and the three titular characters heading out to the countryside for some R&R. On their way to their cabin, they witness a fight between some Native American protestors and the Standard Evil Capitalist, Jack (Charles Napier, of Dinocroc and Rambo: First Blood, Part 2), over the latter dumping something into a landfill on their lands. The next day, the boys are getting some pizza when a young Native American girl (Crystle Lightning) shows up to harass some redneck goons working for Jack about her dad. Their leader, J.J. (Patrick Kilpatrick, of Showdown and Death Warrant), tries to manhandle her in front of everyone, but Colt (Max Elliott Slade) and Tum Tum (Chad Power) step up to plate and beat the goons up something fierce.

Although Grandpa admonishes them for fighting in public, they resolve to help the girl, Jo. Jo’s father, Charlie (Don Shanks, of Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers and Urban Legends: Bloody Mary), has disappeared and she’s sure that Jack has kidnapped him. The boys hide out in the bed of J.J.’s pick-up truck, who unwittingly takes them to Jack’s landfill, where they’re hiding Jack. The boys return to town and start preparing for a ninja raid on the landfill. One big fight scene later, Jack has been rescued and he reveals that he has disk with proof that Jack is contaminating the landfill with non-EPA-approved chemical waste.  However, on the day of the public hearing with an EPA analyst, Jack hires a bunch of mercenaries and a biker gang to kidnap Jo and force Jack into not presenting the disk. Only the 3 Ninjas can save the day.

Does 3 Ninjas have a story? Yes, with topical issues like environmental pollution and Native American land rights. You’d expect a kids’ movie like this to try to address something on the level that children could get. It certainly beats the thrice-damned “Believe in Yourself” theme that most kids’ movies try to present. Is there anything resembling character development? No, not really. Colt and Rocky (Michael Treanor) are almost interchangeable, with the only difference between them being that Colt visibly has a crush on Jo. Tum Tum sticks out because of all the running gags about the bottomless pit that is the child’s stomach. And being a kids’ film (as opposed to a family film), there are lots of dumb one-liners and goofy sound effects that would entertain the under-10 crowd.

There is a lot of action, staged by Taiwanese legend Lam Man-Cheung (billed by his Mandarin name, Lin Wan-Chang). Lam is best known for the Kung Fu Kids films and I assume he was hired on account of his involvement in that series, that was popular in many parts of the world (in addition to its native Taiwan). The action here falls somewhere between your typical Hollywood martial arts movie and his work in Taiwan. It’s a far cry from the superlative Kung Fu Kids VI, but it certainly has more energy than your average Don “the Dragon” Wilson opus. If I have a complaint about the action, it’s that the 3 Ninjas never go “complete ninja” in the movie. No hoods, masks, shuriken or katana. The most we get are a pair of make-shift nunchaku and some tetsubishi made of barbed wire. I also saw references to Enter the Dragon; Operation Condor; and Project A in the fights.

Children and martial arts fans can expect a respectable number of fights, which are played for laughs, but are filled with genuine skill. The first fight at the pizza parlor mainly focuses on Colt and Tum Tum. The second big fight occurs at the landfill, where the 3 Ninjas fight against Jack’s goons on and around a trash compactor conveyor belt. It certainly has the feel of a Jackie Chan fight—choreographer Lam had worked with JC himself on Fantasy Mission Force and Island of Fire. This features more work from Rocky, who fights with the nunchaku at one point.

The third fight is more of all-out brawl between our heroes and Jack’s goons at the Indian Reservation. This is notable because Grandpa shows up to fight, too. Victor was 65 at the time and as far as I know, he never had any actual martial arts knowledge. He’s doubled the entire time—any move her performs is with his back to the camera. Veteran Hollywood stuntman Al Goto, who has amassed almost 300 credits as a stuntman and/or stunt coordinator, is Victor’s stunt double. The finale runs about ten minutes long, with the three kids fighting an endless army of mercenaries at an Old West ghost town. Although the scene is pure martial arts, there are some comic moments, like a gag involving a juke box and Rocky and Tum Tum fighting to the tune of Mariachi music and tango music.

Michael Treanor, who plays Rocky, was a black belt in both Taekwondo and karate by the time he made this, so he has the skills for this and gets more than a good showcase for them. Treanor retired from acting shortly after this film. According to an MTV article dated 2013, Michael remained active in the martial arts, but was working in the financial sector in Washington D.C. as of the writing of the article. Max Elliot Slade, who plays Colt, trained in Gosuku-Ryu karate, which is a composite of Shotokan and Goju-Ryu karate. He arguably gets the best showcase throughout the entire movie. He retired after a small role in Apollo 13 and got a degree in Anthropology and was teaching Yoga in Southern California at one point. Much like Chen Chung-Jung in the Kung Fu Kids movies, Tum Tum in mainly a comic foil and not the character you expect actual martial arts from. Chad Power also stopped acting in the mid-90s, going on to play football in college and become an assistant high school football coach.

As nostalgia functions on a 30-year loop, it is time for 3 Ninjas to be remade. Now that you can get away with a lot more in a PG-13 film than ever before, you can have some great fight action without all those unnecessary Boing! sound effects to keep the MPAA happy. And since the mainstream Martial Arts film hasn’t been in the best condition over the past few years, something to get more kids into the genre is what we need.