Spooky, Spooky (1988)

 Spooky, Spooky (1988)

Chinese Title: 鬼猛腳

Translation: Ghost Kick (or Ghostly Foot)

Starring: Alfred Cheung Kin-Ting, Anthony Chan Yau, Wu Ma, Joyce Mina Godenzi, Tina Lau Tin-Lan, Chung Fat, Mars, Yuen Wah, Corey Yuen Kwai, Richard Ng Yiu-Hon, Billy Lau Nam-Kwong, Pauline Wong Yuk-Wan, Teddy Yip Wing-Cho

Director: Sammo Hung

Action Director: Sammo Hung’s Stuntman Association

Spooky, Spooky is an odd little horror-comedy coming out at a time when the Mr. Vampire films were popular and A Chinese Ghost Story was also inspiring more than its fair share of clones and rip-offs. Produced by Sammo Hung’s production company Bojon films—and distributed by Golden Harvest—the movie feels like a mixture of The Evil Dead and Mr. Vampire, with a large emphasis placed on demonic possession.

The movie starts off a century ago, where a nobleman (Heart of Dragon’s James Tien) catches his wife (Pauline Wong, of Stage Door Johnny and Return of the Evil Fox) in bed with one of his servants. The servant is placed in a sealable wicker basket and tossed into the sea. The wife tries to flee the scene, only to drown in quicksand.

Switch to the modern day. Rookie police officer Wong Siu-Ming (Alfred Cheung, of Her Fatal Ways and Pom Pom and Hot Hot) has been assigned to the West Bay area of Hong Kong, which is a rural beach community. There are two other cops working there: Old Master (Wu Ma, of any and everything Sammo made in the 80s) and Inspector (Anthony Chan, of Mr. Vampire Saga 4). Inspector is their boss, the arrogant little prick. On Wong’s first day on duty, the drowned body of a young woman is discovered on the beach. Inspector has Wong accompany the body to the morgue (in the city) and oversee the autopsy.

The coroner is a quirky dude named Queency (Chung Fat, of Yes, Madam! and The Magnificent Butcher). Queency declares the official cause of death to be drowning, but comments on the side that he thinks it was murder. Pointing to some bruises on the woman’s ankle, he suggests that she was dragged under by a water demon, which the subtitles call a “nix” (after the Germanic water spirit that acts like both a merman and a siren). When Officer Wong returns to the West Bay, he tries to shut down the beach, to the dismay of the Village Chief (The Killer’s Teddy Yip). This leads to a bizarre comic segment in which some of the village women try to accuse Officer Wong of sexual assault in order to get him in jail and stop him from closing down the beach. He is saved in the nick of time by the arrival of Sergeant Pak (Joyce Mina Godenzi, of Slickers vs Killers and Eastern Condors), who does some fast talking of her own to expel the townspeople from the police station.

At about this point, the ghost of the unfaithful wife reappears and takes a liking to Wong. This culminates in the ghost taking over the body of an old friend of Wong’s (Tina Lau, of The Spooky Bunch and Love Massacre). She tries to seduce Wong, but it ends up becoming a supernatural kung fu duel between her and Sergeant Pak. Old Master is able to defeat the ghost by shooting the body with bullets dipped in vermillion (sucks to be Tina). At about the same time, Queency arrives dressed in a brown jumpsuit and a Taoist Proton Pack…and together they all find the ghost’s skeleton in the quicksand and give it a proper burial. But then the nix (i.e. the ghost of the drowned lover), who has been the one dragging swimmers to a water doom, leaves his oceanic grave in search of vengeance…

Spooky, Spooky is one of those Hong Kong horror oddities that is not particularly scary, but is filled with all sorts of strange imagery and gross bodily fluids. I mean, this is a movie where a monster belches what looks like an octopus (made of acid) and attaches itself to a character and dissolves his flesh. In the film’s most famous scene, mentioned in Thomas Weisser’s Asian Cult Cinema, a severed hand takes on a mind of its own (Evil Dead II style) and sneaks into Richard Ng’s pants and masturbates him.

There is some action, courtesy of the Hung Ga Ban, specifically Yuen Wah, Chin Kar-Lok and Hsiao Ho. Don’t expect much drawn-out kickboxing action, but there are lots of choreographed falls and throws, with the actors (and their stunt doubles) being tossed against (and through) walls and onto furniture. And as expected in an 1980s film directed by Sammo Hung, when people fall on the ground (or a table or a couch), it is always in the most painful looking way possible. 

Fans of the Mr. Vampire franchise should enjoy this, but fight fanatics who want something more along the lines of Encounter the Spooky Kind (and its sequel), should probably stick to those films. Unless you like Hong Kong horror hijinks and WTF Cinema in general.

Enter the Eagles (1998)

 Enter the Eagles (1998)

Aka: And Now You’re Dead

Original Title: 渾身是膽

Translation: Covered With Guts

Starring: Shannon Lee, Michael Fitzgerald Wong, Jordan Chan, Anita Yuen, Benny "The Jet" Urquidez, J. J. Perry, Jan Revai, Rudolf Kubik, Jan Ruzicka, Magda Souskova, Michael Ian Lambert

Director: Corey Yuen

Action Director: Yuen Tak

Enter the Eagles is another submission by Corey Yuen into the Girls n’ Guns sweepstakes, and is a surprisingly good entry. I’m pretty sure it beats his previous effort in that sub-genre, Women on the Run, and was a better overall film than DOA: Dead or Alive. Not quite as good as So Close, but a solid action romp overall. Watching it a second time after a 23-year interval was revelatory. The first time I watched it, it was a Malaysian VCD that had the original Cantonese/English language track, but lacked English subtitles whenever actors Jordan Chan and Anita Yuen were talking in Chinese. So, that aspect of the presentation distracted me more than it should have. The Brazilian DVD had the international English dub, so enjoying it was an easier task.

The film is set in Prague amidst the arrival of a rare diamond at the local museum. Bad guy Karloff (Benny Urquidez, of Dragons Forever and Wheels on Meals) wants to get the gem to sell to other, richer entities in the criminal world. Although his men are good at everyday criminal stuff, high-stakes heists are not the thing. So, he sub-contracts the job to Martin (Michael Wong, of First Option and Legacy of Rage), a retired cat burglar. After a little stunt involving escaping from a car that has been set ablaze, Martin convinces Karloff that he’s the man for the job. In addition to his current team, Martin also convinces his former sister-in-law, Mandy (Shannon Lee, of High Voltage and Epoch), to join him. Mandy is actually an assassin-for-hire and not a thief, but her presence will be necessary if Karloff decides to go back on his word.

While staking out the museum, Martin has his little burglar computer stolen by a pair of Chinese pickpockets, Tommy (Jordan Chan, of Bio Zombie and Big Bullet) and Lucy (Anita Yuen, of Protégé and Thunderbolt). While scouring the device for…something…bank account apps? Incriminating photos?...they find a number of files relating to the diamond. They correctly figure out that Martin is trying to steal the diamond and try to join his team. He agrees on the condition that they can beat Mandy in a fight, which they cannot. So, he sends them on their way.

Thus is the beginning of twin attempts to steal the diamond. On one hand, Martin in his gang resolve to stage a mock car accident in front of the museum, pose as ambulance drivers, and use that as an excuse to get into the museum and get past security. On the other hand, Tommy and Lucy have this more complicated plan involving Lucy getting a job at the museum as a cleaning lady—watch for the scene where she poses as the HR woman telling the Czech job applicants that they have to have a college degree and speak Chinese for the job—and then executing a plan that involves eggs, tomatoes, a jar of honey, posters and a hive of bees. In the end, Martin gets the diamond and is arrested while Lucy is captured by Martin and his boys.

As Tommy has hidden the diamond at the police station, Martin and Mandy have to storm the place in order to get it. This is complicated by the fact that Karloff and his men, who were not amused that the first attempt to steal the diamond went south, decide to raid the precinct, too—they call in a bunch of random bomb threats in order to get most of the police out of the place. That can only lead to…lots of action.

Okay, let’s see how much this resembles your typical Corey Yuen directorial effort—ignore The Transporter and DOA: Dead or Alive, as those are Western movies scripted to Western sensibilities. Violent, high-octane action? Check. Empowered female that doesn’t go on about being empowered? Check. Tragic, drawn-out death of a major character that precedes the climax? Check. Out of place comedy in an otherwise serious film? Not so much. Anita Yuen comes across a few times like she’s trying to be a fast-talking comic relief, but (thankfully) that dies down pretty quickly as the stakes rise. Single moment of bad physics that goes against even the film’s loose internal physics—like Collin Chou’s “extra slow” bullet in Bodyguard from Beijing? Check. But yeah, this film hits all the expected beats one might expect of a Corey Yuen project.

I’m not quite sure how to judge the acting. Jordan Chan puts in a good performance as expected. Anita Yuen, what with her Asian straight-hair braided-out hairstyle, threatens to become annoying, but reigns it in the final reel when the action really ramps up. Shannon Lee is a little wooden as Mandy, and it was probably unnecessary for her to do half-baked impressions of her father during the fight scenes. But Lee, who trained in Taekwondo under Dorian Tan Tao-Liang, does a credible job of selling her action sequences. Michael Wong is Michael Wong. I think that even in the original Cantonese version, where he spoke all of his lines in English, he was dubbed. But he does a decent job of emoting where he needs to, especially during the climax. And slimy bad guy Benny “The Jet” gets more of a character in this film than he did in either Wheels on Meals or Dragons Forever, so that’s something.

The action is pretty well split between stylized gunplay and martial arts. Fellow Seven Fortune and frequent Corey collaborator Yuen Tak staged the action sequences, which were probably overseen on the whole by Corey (considering he was the director and much of the film was action). Shannon’s first fight is against U.K. fighter Michael Ian Lambert (the white-robed knife guy in Unleashed), where the two trade kicks in a barn while their hands are tied together with ropes. There are disc mowers on each side of them, so one wrong move will get them sliced up real good.

That is followed by two gunplay-heavy set pieces. The first is when Martin and his gang show up to inform Karloff that Tommy got away with the diamond, and Karloff’s gang starts shooting. There is a brief fight between Mandy and Karloff’s henchman, Ben (J.J. Perry, of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation and Sunland Heat), before Anita Yuen threatens to shoot him in the balls. The set piece at the police station runs a good 15 minutes, and involves gunplay, helicopters, car stunts, foot chases, fruit stalls, exploding melons…the whole she-bang-a-bang. 

Then we get to the finale, which is set on a blimp (cue the unconvincing CGI). There is some more gunplay, followed by a lengthy fight between Shannon Lee, Benny “The Jet”, and J.J. Perry. They are in section of the blimp that is full of metal cables, so the performers have to fight around them, which makes for some creative environment-based fight choreography. Lee acquits herself well to choreography once again, and Benny has not lost a step since Dragons Forever a full decade before. Michael Wong and Anita Yuen provide the firefighting, with Wong going full John Woo with two-fisted pistols while Anita uses a machine gun. Anita does get involved with the fighting and she (and her stuntwoman) gets thrown face-first through a glass table at one point. Oh, Hong Kong…equals rights been equal lumps taken in films. Even if the rest of the action wasn’t that great, the final fight between Lee, Urquidez and Perry would justify the rental price (or cheap VCD price I paid) alone. But since there’s a little more where all that came from, I can say that Enter the Eagles is one of the better action films to come out of Hong Kong between 1996 and 2005, when Sha Po Lang restored our faith in the genre.

Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

Starring: Gianna Jun Ji-hyun, Allison Miller, Liam Cunningham, JJ Feild, 

Koyuki, Yasuaki Kurata, Larry Lamb, Andrew Pleavin, Michael Byrne, Colin Salmon

Director: Chris Nahon

Action Director: Corey Yuen

Blood: The Last Vampire is a frustrating film. Director Chris Nahon and Corey Yuen had done great work together years before on Kiss of the Dragon. There are flashes of action brilliance here. Korean lead actress Jun Ji-hyun (credited as Gianna), is quite cute and capable in the lead role. But every time the film threatened to become pretty good, a crappy digital effect or incoherently-edited fight scene took me out of the film. I could forgive the half-baked script, which feels in some way like a precursor to the popular “Demon Slayer” manga more than a traditional vampire story, but chintzy CGI torpedoes the film at every turn.

We open with a series of intertitles that inform us that our vampires—actually Japanese demons—originated in Japan under the command of a Supreme Über Demon named Onigen. Their presence gave rise to a clan of Japanese demon slayers. Only one of these slayers remains, who has thrown in her chips with a shadow-y MIB-esque group known as “The Council.”

This last demon slayer is Saya (Gianna, of Assassination and The Berlin File), a young woman who is quite the (heh) demon with the katana. We suspect early on that the woman may be the Japanese equivalent of Blade, as we see her chugging a bottle of blood once she retires to her small hotel room after killing a demon in a subway train. She is visited by the Council, which includes Agent Michael (Liam Cunningham, of The Tournament and “Game of Thrones”) and Agent Lucas (JJ Field, of Centurion and Captain America: The First Avenger). Agent Michael is very trusting of Saya, although Lucas is a bit more cynical. Although Saya can sense demonic possession (or demonic shape-shifting), her job requires her to kill only after they’ve revealed their true form. As that hasn’t been the case as of late, Lucas thinks she’s becoming a loose cannon and a liability to the operation.

Anyway, Michael has come to inform her of a series of murders around a US Air Force Base in Tokyo—the film is set in 1970, when the Vietnam War was still a thing. The fact that the crime scene photos suggest that the victims died of Exploding Head Syndrome, Saya arrives at the conclusion that none other than Onigen is responsible. The head of demons was supposedly responsible for Saya’s father’s murder, so Onigen is high on Saya’s sh*t list. Since this is American military territory we’re talking about, the Council can’t let a Japanese girl galivant around the base with a sword. So, Saya has to go undercover as a schoolgirl—her cover story is that she’s the daughter of a Japanese dignitary.

Her arrival at the school is marked by casual racist insults thrown at her by class Queen Bee, Sharon (Masiela Lusha, of the “George Lopez” sitcom and the Sharknado films). Sharon also harbors a dislike for Alice McKee (Devil’s Due Allison Miller), the daughter of the general (Larry Lamb) who runs the base. Alice has a slight rebellious streak, but otherwise is an intelligent young lady. Her troubles begin when she starts slacking off in her kendo classes. Her instructor, Mr. Powell (Colin Salmon, of Resident Evil and Tomorrow Never Dies), orders her to stay after class to train with Sharon and her yes-girl, Linda. But then Sharon and Linda opt to use real katana swords instead of the usual bamboo shinai, which prompts Saya to step into action and defend her. Alice witnesses Saya decapitate both girls, followed by the arrival of the Council agents (who claim to be CIA agents) who clean up the crime scene.

General McKee is initially very suspicious of any Agency activity on his base and orders his men to tail the agents. Meanwhile, nobody seems to believe Alice that a) her classmates tried to murder her and b) they were in turn murdered by Saya. So, she sneaks out of her house that evening and tracks Mr. Powell to a bar/nightclub that she has frequented before. When she questions Mr. Powell about why he left her alone with Sharon and Linda, he transforms into a demon…along with everybody else inside the bar. Only the sudden appearance of Saya keeps Alice from getting eaten by the demons and disappeared by the agents. But when McKee’s assistant, Frank (Andrew Pleavin, of the 300 films), finds the Council’s hardware while they’re cleaning up that particular battle—“battle” is probably more appropriate than “fight,” “skirmish,” or “kerfuffle”—Agent Lucas is going to be rather upset that the military is getting too close to their operation…

There is a fair amount going on during the first two acts, what with Saya’s battling demons, the clash between the General and Council, Alice (our Caucasian audience proxy) trying to figure out what’s going on, and the arrival of Onigen herself (Koyuki, of The Last Samurai and Pulse) in Tokyo. The first and last plot threads merge during the last half hour, while all the business about the Council is promptly forgotten about. That is unfortunate, because it makes the final act not only overly simplistic, but it leaves a gaping hole in the plot as to the question “What will happen to the Council following the events of the film?” It doesn’t help that the final confrontation between Saya and Onigen is surprisingly anticlimactic, and the twist involving Onigen is pretty obvious from the outset, not to mention for all the exposition dumps and flashbacks we get, we don’t get any real explanation about the twist itself. The possibility of Saya moving over to the “dark side” is brought up by Onigen, but it is never hinted at earlier and is lost amidst the shower of wire-fu and bad CGI.

Corey Yuen’s work is a mixed bag, as was common for a lot of his post-2000 work. The main culprit is the overuse of intrusive camerawork and quick cuts, which is usually the case when working with actors who have little-to-no martial arts training. The big fight between Saya and the demons in the alleyway outside the bar was pretty cool, with Saya using her sword and performing all sorts of wire-assisted jump kicks. Apparently, actress Gianna tried to do most of her own wire stunts, so I guess that is a point in her favor. There is a fight between her and a demon atop a truck that is falling into a ravine that feels more CGI than anything else.  The best action sequence comes in a flashback near the end where we see Saya’s trainer, Kato (Yasuaki Kurata, of Win Them All and The Secret of Shaolin Poles), take on a bunch of ninja in a forest. That fight has the least number of cuts, crazy camera work, and wires. It’s just a veteran screen fighter doing what he does best: cutting up foolz with a sword. Too bad there wasn’t more of that in the film: Yasuaki Kurata killing ninjas and vampires for 90 minutes.

Fangs of the Black Tiger by JF Lee

 Fangs of the Black Tiger by JF Lee

JF Lee’s first novel, Sword of Sorrow, Blade of Joy, was a highly-entertaining wuxia adventure about the adventures of a swordsman, Li Ming, as he wanders about the (China-adjacent) empire looking for the elusive former general, Shazha Kui, who murdered his master, his wife, and his daughters, some years before. Joining him for the ride was a young girl named Shu Yan, who had sought his services and protection after fleeing the brothel she works at. The two grow into a surrogate father-daughter relationship as the story progresses. The story ended on a cliffhanger, with Li Ming and his martial brother, the magistrate Tao Jun, barely surviving an ambush, only discover that Shu Yan is missing.

The sequel, Fangs of the Black of the Tiger, picks up where the last book left off. Shu Yan has been captured by bounty hunters, led by a mysterious woman named Duan Cai. Joining Shu in her cage is an equally-enigmatic woman named Zemin. While resting in a bounty hunters’ village, an army of warriors descends upon the village and rescues Zemin and Shu Yan. Zemin is revealed to be the second-in-command of the Black Tiger gang, and Shu Yan is allowed to stay. There, she begins to come of age as a woman, finding family, acceptance, hidden talents, and even love…

Meanwhile, Li Ming and his friends are leaving no stone unturned in their search for Shu Yan. Their journey takes them into the hands of bandits, monks, and feuding crime bosses, ultimately ending in a showdown with the Black Tiger Gang and its leader…

Fangs of the Black Tiger is just as entertaining as the first book. It is just as episodic, although the episodes are both fewer and more developed. Moreover, Shu Yan’s experience with the Black Tigers follows a consistent character arc for our feisty female protagonist. And even Li Ming’s parallel journey has a more definite goal—find Shu Yan—than his vaguer journey in the last book. The narrative on the whole feels a lot less anthology-like than Sword of Sorrow, Blade of Joy. 

Most importantly, the stakes are much higher this time around. The villains play for keeps, Li Ming and his colleagues are sometimes outmatched, and our characters are often thrust into situations where their decisions are not clear-cut black and white. The numerous side quests of the first book were very much “fun,” in which it felt like our heroes were rarely in real danger, because Li Ming was such a badass. But this time around, being a good swordsman (or even a great one), is simply not enough for the challenges thrown at him.

As with the first book, the banter between the characters really makes the story. Their interactions are always entertaining, the characters stay within their established qualities, but enjoy lots of lively dialog that pushes the story forward while being entertaining to read. The book is recommended on that quality alone. But add some layered characterizations and suspenseful conflicts to the mix, and you have a wuxia story worth revisiting!

DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)

DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)

Starring: Jaime Pressly, Devon Aoki, Holly Valance, Sarah Carter, Natassia Malthe, Kane Kosugi, Collin Chou, Eric Roberts, Silvio Simac, Derek Boyer, Kevin Nash, Brian J. White, cameo by Robin Shou

Director: Corey Yuen

Action Director: Corey Yuen, Guo Jianyong

I think a lot of people were excited about this when the trailer came out. Corey Yuen had always been a dependable source for martial arts-infused female empowerment movies, and So Close was still reasonably recent in people’s minds. Being based on a fighting game meant that there would be a lot of action. Being based on a female-centric fighting game meant that there would be loads of eye candy. And the trailer, which showed hawt Australian actress Holly Valance topless as her bra fell on her chest and a gun in her hand at the same time, meant that it would be exaggerated, but in a fun, sexy way. Sort of a Charlie’s Angels meets Enter the Dragon, which is essentially what this film is.

Like Enter the Dragon (or Mortal Kombat), we have three main protagonists. The first is Kasumi (Devon Aoki, of War and Sin City), a ninja princess living in Japan. Her brother, Hayate (Collin Chou, of The Matrix Reloaded and Promising Young Boy), disappeared a year ago after leaving the clan to fight in the DOA tournament. Rules for ninja princesses are strict and she cannot leave her castle—these things still exist in modern-day Japan? But she does, prompting Hayate’s former girlfriend, the purple-haired Ayane (Natassia Malthe, of the Bloodrayne sequels), to mark her forth death.

Next, there’s Tina Armstrong. Tina has made it huge as a professional wrestler, although now she wants to prove that she is the real thing (not unlike Johnny Cage). Her dad, Bass (Kevin Nash), is also a wrestler and wants her back in the WWW(hatever). But she needs to undergo her own hero’s journey and accepts an invitation to the DOA tournament, albeit not before beating up some pirates (led by Robin Shou in a cameo) who try to hijack her yacht. 

Finally, we have Christie Allen (Taken’s Holly Valance), a cat burglar and assassin. When we meet her, she has just robbed a bank in Hong Kong with the help of her lover, Max (Matthew Marsden). Max is a bit of a prick and has ratted her out to the police, which leads to the aforementioned scene of her fighting the cops in her hotel room while wrapped in a towel. While making her getaway, she gets an invitation to the DOA tournament, lured by the promise of a 10-million-dollar prize if she wins.

The three meet up on the plane ride to the island, although tournament rules require them to jump out of the plane, parachute to the beach, and climb a tower to get to the big Chinese-esque mansion where the tournament is held. Joining our heroines are Ryu Hayabusa (Blood Heat’s Kane Kosugi), who may be the same guy from the “Ninja Gaiden” games; Bass; some DJ named Zack (Brian J. White); and a couple of Chinese fighters that the film doesn’t concern itself with. The tournament is run by Dr. Victor Donovan (Eric Roberts, of Best of the Best and The Expendables), who organized the tournament as part of the will of his former partner, Dr. Douglas. The two ran a huge scientific megacorporation or something. Oh, and the late Dr. Douglas’s daughter, Helena (Sarah Carter), is participating in DOA this particular year. That makes her the fourth female protagonist.

The DOA tournament plays out in four rounds: the preliminary elimination round, the quarter finals, semi-finals, and the finals. Each combatant is given a watch that, at any given moment, will display the face of their next opponent. A fight can start at any time or take place in any part of the island. There are some other things going on: Ayane has snuck onto the island and is determined to kill Kasumi. Christie and Max would like to find the island’s vault and clean it out, if possible. Kasumi and Hayabusa want to try to find out if Hayate is still on the island. Plus, Dr. Victor Donovan has his own plans for the fighters…

Anyone who comes into a movie like this expecting a plot should feel ashamed of themselves. There is one, but it builds up to a silly conclusion. The dialog is pretty bad for the most part. And as expected, Devon Aoki has but a single facial expression, making Kristen Stewart look like a paragon of dynamic range. But we’re not here for that sort of thing. We want fighting and hawt women, which this film gives us in spades. Like the video game, we even have an extended interlude of bikini volleyball in between the fight sequences. And Sarah Carter roller blading around in a sports bra and booty shorts for know reason. And let’s not forget two hot blondes…fighting…in skimpy clothes…in the rain…in slow motion. Make no mistake: Dead or Alive is basically the 1990s Mortal Kombat film filtered through the lens of a 14-year-bold weened on Internet porn. 

That doesn't mean this is a great film in any sense. The low-budget CGI makes the film look rather chintzy in places. The gimmick with the high-tech sunglasses at the end is quite silly. Devon Aoki should have never been allowed to step in front of a movie camera. Tomonobu Itagaki, creator of the DOA games, had actually wanted Kasumi to be played by City Hunter’s Kumiko Goto (and for Ayane to be played by Azumi’s Aya Ueto). I would much have preferred that to have been the case, although Natassia Malthe does look cute in a purple wig. And then there’s the action…

The fighting is a mixed bag. Jaime Pressly had started training in martial arts while working on the Mortal Kombat TV series. Holly Valance had trained in Muay Thai at some point in her youth. But all of the actresses had to undergo a four-month crash course in wushu, kung fu and wire-fu during this film’s pre-production phase. The only actors who were the “real deal” were Kane Kosugi, Collin Chou, Robin Shou (whose part is negligible), and Unleashed’s Silvio Simac, who plays Leon. The problem is that much of the action is obscured by quick cuts and bad camerawork, especially during the first half of the film. There is a lot of wire work used in the fights. And being a Corey Yuen film, there is one moment where a fighter throws out both of his feet and kicks his opponent’s legs out from under him (or her).

There are a few choice fight sequences, though. The best fight is the one where Kane Kosugi beats up an army of guards while snooping around the island compound, Enter the Dragon style. It even ends with him getting trapped between a pair of iron doors. That sequence is followed in short order by an extended sword fight in a bamboo forest between Kasumi and Ayane, which was very much influenced by House of Flying Daggers. Incidentally, this movie was filmed at the same studio in Hebian, China where that movie was made. But that fight is pretty good, too. Tina’s fight with Zack isn’t bad, but the extended fight between Helena Douglas and a bunch of sword-wielding guards was a lot better. 

Unfortunately, although finale has some decent kung fu on display, the fact that the film builds up to fighting Eric Roberts reminds me of Game of Death, where Bruce Lee has to fight his way past Dan Inosanto, Ji Han-jae and Kareem Abdul Jabbar, only to throw down with Hugh O’Brian. I also lament that the film didn’t complete the actual tournament. At least the progression of the tournament was done in a logical manner, although how Hayabusa moved onto the semi-finals after getting captured is a mystery.

If you liked Charlie’s Angels (2000), but thought it needed more fighting…or if you liked Mortal Kombat (1995), but felt it needed more female skin, then this is the movie for you. But if you want Corey Yuen at his female-fu best, stick with So Close or Yes, Madam! If you want Corey Yuen at his female-fu sleaziest, check out Women on the Run. This has its moments, but didn’t quite become a guilty pleasure for me.

The One (2001)

The One (2001)

Starring: Jet Li, Carla Gugino, Delroy Lindo, Jason Statham, James Morrison, Dylan Bruno, Richard Steinmetz, Steve Rankin
Director: James Wong
Action Director: Corey Yuen

Before Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. Before Spider-Man: No Way Home. Before Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness. Before The Flash '23. Before Deadpool and Wolverine. There was...The One. Originally written as a vehicle for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, whose acting career was kicking off at the time, it somehow morphed into a Jet Li film, which Li himself promoted as a safe alternative to the blood-and-guts carnage that was Kiss of the Dragon. And when it comes to gimmicks, "Jet Li vs. Jet Li" is certainly more interesting than "The Rock vs. The Rock." And with online critics talking down almost every multiverse themed film outside of EEAAO, I have to wonder if this film is in for a re-evaluation almost a quarter of a decade later.

We open with a brief narration informing us that yes, the Multiverse is a thing and yes, it is possible to travel from one parallel universe to the next. And because of that, there is a special police force in charge of supervising travel and activity between the universes: the MVA.

After that, we turn to a prison, where the guards are removing an inmate, Lawless (Jet Li, of Fist of Legend and Bodyguard from Beijing), from his cell for a transfer. I think it has something to do with him deciding to testify against his old cronies, judging from the sheer anger directed at him from the other inmates. Once he reaches the prison garage, a bullet comes out of nowhere and pierces the bulletproof, protective headgear he was wearing. Head shot. The prison guards open fire on the large ventilation pipes from whence the shot came, peppering up the metal tubing quite well. But to everybody's surprise, the assassin is not dead. And more to their surprise, it turns out that it's Lawless...only that it isn't. It is Yulaw (also Li) and before you know it, the guy is opening up a can of Matrix on everybody. Yulaw makes a break for it, ultimately getting captured by a pair of law enforcement agents, Roedecker (Delroy Lindo, of Romeo Must Die) and Funsch (Jason Statham, of Safe and War). These two work for the MVA and have been on the Yulaw case for quite some time.

Now that Yulaw is in MVA custody, we learn that he has murdered not one...not two...but 123 versions of himself in different universes. Initially, we not quite sure why, although it is implied (and later explained) that the lifeforce of each reality's version of oneself is connected somehow. When one kills a version of himself, that person's lifeforce is redistributed among the surviving versions, hence Yulaw's strength, speed, and ability to perform all sorts of crazy wire-fu tricks. The movie never explains this--probably the biggest plot hole in the film--but I am going to assume that this only happens when you kill your own self. Otherwise, your lifeforce just dissipates...or something. But if you absorb all of your versions' lifeforces, you may become a god--or just make everything explode.

Back to the story, Yulaw is found guilty of 123 counts of multidimensional murder and 123 counts of unauthorized multidimensional travel. Plot hole: we learn later on that Yulaw killed his first version of himself out of some sort of necessity--he was an MVA agent himself--during a job. Technically, that would mean that it should be 122 counts of unauthorized travel, considering that it happened a job. Whatever. He is sentenced to life in the Stygian Penal Colony--i.e. a prison planet a la Fiorina 161--in the Hades universe. I wonder what things were like there in order to earn that moniker. He is rescued by his lover (Carla Gugino, of Spy Kids and Sin City), who unleashes an explosive mouse (!) into the teleportation chamber. During the confusion, Yulaw breaks out of the chair, switches the coordinates, and disappears.

Switch to our universe. A prison in Los Angeles. Not too unlike the one in the first scene. The police are seen escorting a criminal out of his cell on his way to court to testify against his gang. Is it Lawless? No, just some guy. But one of the guards is Gabe Law (also Li), a clean-cut, good-natured law enforcement officer working for the County Sheriff's Office. Once they reach the transport area, someone (we know it's Yulaw) starts firing on the procession. This time, it's clear that he's aiming at Gabe and not the prisoner. Gabe is quite astonished to learn that he's being attacked by...himself. He takes a bullet, but thankfully it does not penetrate his kevlar vest.

At the insistence of his wife, T.K. (also Gugino), Gabe goes to the hospital for a check-up and to do an MRI scan to figure out if there is anything wrong with his mind. Gabe has had a number of unexplained health issues over the past two years (hmmm) and now he's ranting about getting hunted by himself. Something must be wrong. But Yulaw, Roedecker, and Funsch all show up at the hospital and a gunfight breaks out. Thanks to some bad luck involving the placement of the security cameras, when Yulaw shoots a security guard to death in the hallway, Gabe's colleagues think it was him who did it. It is not long before before his luck gets so bad that getting shot while wearing a bulletproof vest looks like small potatoes in comparison.

Director James Wong saw his stock rise following the success of Final Destination. I don't think this film did much to improve his career, but the third FD film did pretty good (I reckon). After a few Hollywood Remakes--Willard and Black Christmas--Wong sunk his movie-making career with the notoriously dismal--if unintentionally hilarious--Dragon Ball film, which I reviewed years ago in an earlier incarnation of this site. Wong seems to have kept himself busy since then on TV, writing and producing for American Horror Story and directing episodes of the "X-Files" series reboot. All that said, Wong directs this film with a breakneck pace, never allowing the occasional moment of exposition to get in the way of the action. At a scant 87 minutes, the film just blazes by.

The plot predates the comic book movie multiverse trend by a good two decades. That said, because this is not part of a bigger universe, you don't get the overwhelming feeling that death doesn't matter. In the recent batch of comic book movies, the death of main characters no longer feels like a tragedy because one can theoretically just grab another version of oneself and place it in the main universe. By establishing our main protagonist, Gabe Law, as one of the remaining two versions of himself, we know that death is a finality. And by using the mistaken identity subplot, we also know that even if he does survive, he is completely screwed once he has to face the authorities. That does add an element of suspense to the proceedings.

Martial arts fans were only probably only partially satisfied with the action here. There is a lot of (uninspired) gunplay, plus some foot chases, vehicular mayhem, and explosions. For most of the movie, the martial arts sequences are very quick. As expected, Corey Yuen could do traditional kung fu, modern kickboxing, wire-fu, and gunplay, but he faltered once CGI was introduced into the mix. When Yulaw fights the police in the first scene, he does a lot of "kick a person, switch to slow motion as they get knocked off their feet, and then back to regular speed as he punches them again." There is a scene later on where Yulaw kills some policemen by clubbing them with their own motorcycles.

The film's best moment comes at the climax, where the two Jet Li's finally have their big showdown...in a chemical factory. Jet Li fights himself through the use of doubles, who include Guo Jianyong (Corey Yuen's protégé); Lin Feng (action director of the Detective Dee sequels); and Huang Kaisen (another member of Corey Yuen's stunt team). Yulaw and Gabe Law have differing philosophies on life and existence. Yulaw is goal-focused and sees life as a straight line toward one's objectives, independent of the cost. To that end, he uses Hsing-I Chuan, a Chinese internal style based on the movements of a spear that is straight and direct in its attacks. Gabe is a bit more "circular" in this thinking, treasuring balance and harmony, and uses Baguazhang instead. It is great to see two of the Chinese internal styles in a Hollywood movie, especially ones that aren't Tai Chi. Despite the frequent Matrix flourishes--this was a 2001 production after all--the choreography is pretty good and I'm always a sucker for more traditional fight direction. I just wished there was more of this and less CGI-fu and bullet time effects.