Raiga: God of the Monsters (2009)

Raiga: God of the Monsters (2009)
Aka: Deep Sea Monster Raiga; Raiga: The Monster from the Deep Sea
Original Title: 深海獣雷牙
Translation: Deep Sea Beast Raiga

Starring: Yukijiro Hotaru, Miyu Oriyama, Mao Urata, Manami Enosawa, Hanji Yanagiya, Tokinatsu San-Yutei, Makoto Inamiya
Director: Shinpei Hayashiya

Raiga: God of Monsters is the follow-up to Reigo: King of the Sea Monsters, the low-budget kaiju eiga made by genre fan and former funnyman Shinpei Hayashiya. That last film was not very good, taking a potentially-fascinating premise and not doing it justice thanks to an extremely low budget, which resulted in 80 minutes of awful CGI. This film seems to have had a bit more money to work with, or at least a set-up that called for more practical effects. The resulting film is a bit more watchable, on par with your average Asylum film.

We begin the film with Raiga, an even more Godzilla-esque monster than Reigo, wandering around the ocean floor, accompanied by the bonefish from the first film. He's suddenly attacked by a huge bonefish and ultimately wins that battle. We switch to a pair of men who have gone fishing at sea. They themselves have caught a bonefish and are discussing tales of a giant sea dragon whose coming the bonefish heralded. One of the idiots puts his hand in the creature's mouth and is subsequently chomped. More CGI bonefish show up and chomp the other guy before the boat explodes for no good reason.

We then meet our main characters. The main guy is an unlicensed street hawker named Hajime (Yukijiro Hotaru, returning from the previous movie). He's a widower living with his three ultra-annoying daughters, Matsuri (Miyo Oriyama, of The Slit-Mouthed Woman 0: The Beginning), Hibari (Mao Urata, of “Burn the House Down”), and Akari (Manami Enosawa, of My Girlfriend is a Serial Killer). The four spend a lot of their time bickering and his daughters even beat dad up whenever he tries to date another woman. This eventually becomes one of the movie's half-assed themes: if you're a widower, it's better to spend all your time with your children and not go out looking for love.

Hajime is also the member of the association of local businessmen, including Taro (Hanji Yanegiya) and Akira (Tokinatsu San-Yutei). Those two will spend most of the movie following Hajime around without ever making any contribution to the plot. There's another guy who is part of the association; his girlfriend is a Geisha. But those two quickly get chomped by the bonefish and exit stage left.

The plot sets in motion when Raiga shows up in Tokyo Harbor, blowing up a pleasure boat. This gets the attention of the Defense Ministers (and their Auditor), who figure that a monster is behind the boat's destruction. In a really bizarre touch, the Ministers (and auditor) are introduced with subtitles, with some other random profession in parantheses, which makes me wonder if that was the actor's actual profession. For example, one of the Defense Ministers is actually the Chairman of the Used Bookstores Association.

Anyway, they enlist the help of the Deacon of the Deez, I mean, General Kito (Makoto Inamiya, sort of reprising his role from the last film as a military officer who wears an eyepatch). But seriously, the guy is decked out in armor that wouldn't look out of place in a post-apocalyptic movie, plus he's bald and wears an eyepatch. General Kito orders an airstrike against Raiga as soon as he appears. Although the Japanese SDF takes a few casualties, they're able to subdue the monster and maybe drive it away via Air-to-Surface missiles.

Two months later, Hajime has made a small fortune selling Raiga memorabilia. The name Raiga is actually Hajime's idea, which apparently is a combination of the words for "Thunder" and "Fang." There's some drama between Hajime and his daughters because of his attempts to date another woman and his lack of support for one of them, who wants to become a teen idol. They eventually kiss and make up (except for the girlfriend, who ends being spurned) and stand around in Hajime's apartment building watching when Raiga shows up again to wreak havoc on Tokyo. The SDF almosts kills it using a clusterbomb, but it's saved by a second Raiga who shows up. The two Raiga get into a short beam war, with the challenger ultimately winning the match. After killing the first Raiga, the second monster urinates all over District that Hajime lives in, marking it as his territory.

Cut to Hajime and his family (and the two men who have been following him around the whole film) having fun on some hill in some random meadow. Then there's a pop song so weird that I'm almost convinced it's a parody (the Romaji words are placed at the top of the screen while the translated lyrics appear at the bottom). The end.

On one hand, the film's main characters never interact in any meaningfully way with the monster. The monster isn't even the worst of their problems, despite the fact that it targets their prefecture twice. It's almost like Kraa all over again. The Greek chorus scenes of General Kito and the Defense Ministers feels even further removed from the action. Nonetheless, I give the former scenes a small fraction of a pass on the grounds that they show us a little more of Japanese culture than Godzilla movies have done over the years, especially from the Heisei series on. I never knew, for example, that there are restaurants you go to that put little BBQ grills on your table for you to cook your own strips of beef. Nonetheless, I suppose that Toho movies focused so much on the military and scientists simply because it's an easier way to insert the characters into the monster action.

Since most of the monster action is suitmation, it's lot more convincing than the CGI that looked like it financed with the budget of a 1960s Larry Buchanan film. Raiga is essentially Godzilla with slightly tweaked spines (they look Godzilla’s dorsal spines that have been turned 90 degrees) and foreclaws that look like they severed Heisei Gamera's flippers and sewed them onto Godzilla. Raiga’s face is a bit flatter than Godzilla’s, giving it a more dinosaurian look. Like Reigo, Raiga's power is to make lightning strike anywhere he wants, although he evolves later on to be able to fire it from his hands and mouth, too. The CGI explosions and jets are unconvincing, but they look better among the miniatures than they do in the Reigo film. All in all, the special FX are about on the level of an episode of "Superhuman Samurai Cyber Squad." I suppose it's worth a watch, all things considered.

And now, the words to the pop song at the end:

(Refrain)
With my paddle-punches of love
I'll blow out your heart
You can't escape my love
With my cell phone mails with photo attachments, triple heart marks
And midnight super-cozy mascot characters
The emotional distance between the two of us will get smaller

Without telling the classmates
it's a fluttering after-school hours
But my girlie mind is pretty obvious to everyone
Suddenly in the corner of the corridor
You told me your feeling with a serious look
And dashed away with an ablush smile
Dropped in at our family restaurant
I was in another world when my friend told me about her love affair

(Refrain)

Please come closer
Keep your eyes on true myself, who nobody else knows
My love will rush toward you
We have been just e-mail pals
The distance between us gets smaller in full speed
We are the love-dovey champions of love affair
On a Sunday we ride in tandem on your favorite motorcycle
Every brake you apply makes our silhouettes come single

The replica ring you gave me
Shines under the light and becomes a diamond
Our love is driven in full throttle
I believe my steamy feeling
Continues to tomorrow

(Refrain)