The Cutter (2005)

The Cutter (2005)

 

Starring: Chuck Norris, Joanna Pacula, Daniel Bernhardt, Bernie Kopell, Todd Jensen, Marshall Teague, Tracy Scoggins, Curt Lowens
Director: William Tannen
Action Director: Eric Norris

 

During the 1970s and 1980s, Chuck Norris was a relevant figure in both Hollywood action movies and the then-nascent martial arts genre, at least in the Western Hemisphere. Although he started to slow down in the 1990s, considering that he was already in his 50s, he maintained some degree of relevance by making the hit “Walker, Texas Ranger” series, which ran for nine seasons before ending in 2001. By this point, Norris was already past 60, which was way past the expiration date for an action star at that time (this was before Stallone, Jackie, and Schwarzenegger pushed the limits on what age might prevent one from doing).

It was in early 2005 that Chuck Norris enjoyed a rather peculiar revival in popularity, this time on the internet. A humorist named Ian Spector published a website called chucknorrisfacts.net (formerly chucknorrisfacts.com), in which hundreds of facts were created to inform the internet generation of the greatness of Chuck Norris. They remain popular even today, and have been referenced in films like The Expendables 2 and the “Hitler reacts…” videos on Youtube, in which the subtitles from the German film Downfall are changed according to the event being reacted to.

 

“Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.”

 

The Cutter came out in 2005 when the Chuck Norris Facts were taking off. It was also Norris’s last starring film role, followed only by an extended cameo in The Expendables 2. He has hosted a History Channel documentary called “Chuck Norris’ Epic Guide to Military Vehicles” and acted in a cameo of the “Hawaii Five-0” reboot as well. Recently, there have been reports of Chuck Norris coming out of retirement to make Zombie Plane with former rapper Vanilla Ice, plus an action film called Agent Recon alongside Marc “the Beastmaster” Singer. Whether or not these two films materialize remains to be seen.

 

“There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.”

 

This movie opens on the Sinai Peninsula, where a team of archaeologists are hard at work uncovering what appears to be mummy hidden in a cave off the beaten path. Their success is short lived; a mysterious man (Daniel Bernhardt, of Bloodsport 3 and The Matrix Reloaded) shows up and murders all the archaeologists. Upon a examination of the mummy, it would appear that this particular specimen is quite unique: beneath the bandages is the Priestly Breastplate, as in the one Aaron the Priest wore. Even more unique is that the breastplate also has a pair of large gemstones, which we know as the Urim and Thummim. The killer makes off with both items in his possession.

 

“When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out of the house.”

 

Jump to Spokane, Washington, where a young girl has been kidnapped by Russian mobsters. The police are slow to act, so the girl’s wealthy mother hires private eye John Shepherd (Chuck Norris) to find her daughter. He eventually does, but arrives a few minutes after the kidnappers have offed the poor girl. He does manage to off them in return because…well…nobody makes a fool out of Chuck Norris and gets away scot-free.

 

“Chuck Norris talks about the Fight Club.”

 

At about the same time, Mystery Man (we’ll just call him Dirk from now on) has arrived in Spokane and starts looking for a legendary jewel cutter named Zalman. Initially unsuccessful, he learns of a famous Jewish cutter named Isaac Teller (TV actor Bernie Kopell) who seems to match the description of Zalman. Dirk pays him a visit and invites him to take a look at a pair of 500-karat stones—the Urim and Thummim—that he has in his possession. Intrigued, Teller takes him up on the offer. But when Dirk starts talking about the configurations that he would like the stones to be cut in, Isaac gets suspicious. Too late, however, he’s now been kidnapped.

 

“Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the world down.”

 

Isaac, however, has a niece named Elizabeth (Joanna Pacula, of Tombstone and The Kiss) who is also in the jewelry cutting business. Coincidentally, she’s a friend of the old lady who lost her daughter to Russian kidnappers, so both she and John Shepherd are at the young girl’s funeral. It is after the funeral that some shady types try to kidnap the woman. However, Shepherd witnesses the crime and chases down the kidnappers in P.I. van until he finally broadsides their car, rendering it un-driveable. Both men are killed in the ensuing shootout, but Elizabeth flees before Shepherd can question her.

 

“Chuck Norris can go to a feminist rally and leave with an ironed shirt and a sandwich.”

 

After a run-in with the law—FBI agent Parks (Todd Jensen, of Ninja and The Code) hates him, but he gets along well with Spokane P.D. Sergeant Moore (Marshall Teague, of U.S. Seals II and Special Forces)—he goes back to his apartment where he is approached by Elizabeth. She informs him that her uncle has been kidnapped. He is initially skeptical, but after an assassination attempt by a guy dressed as a repairman, he agrees to take her case and help her find her uncle. Thus begins a complicated cat-and-mouse chase across Spokane involving Shepherd and Elizabeth, the Fuzz, Dirk (and his employer), and a secret arm of Interpol acting in the US.

 

“When Chuck Norris went off to college, he told his dad, ‘You’re now the Man of the House.’”

 

The Cutter is a very talky crime drama, with a few action sequences dispersed throughout. Although Chuck gets into the occasional fist fight or shoot-out, once the conflict is established, there is a lot of going from one lead to the next, trying to find any sort of clue that will help them find Isaac. A lot of the film consists Chuck and Joanna going to see a fellow jeweler, only to find a pair of dead bodies; then Chuck and Joanna go see a Hebrew expert at the local university to decipher one man’s dying words; and then they talk to a Rabbi who might’ve been questioned by Dirk; and then they go see a lady who survived her stay in Auschwitz, etc. etc. etc.

 

“Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.”

 

According to the IMDB, the script was picked up by several studios and underwent several re-writes before finally getting made by Nu Image, best known at the time for their cheesy low-budget “killer animal” films and straight-to-video Steven Seagal movies. Their subsidiary, Millenium films, later went to some degree of fame and success with the 4^th and 5^th Rambo films, the Expendables series, the Mechanic remake and its sequel, and the Olympus Has Fallen series. Apparently, the story itself had a lot more religious implications and talk of Israel in it. A lot of that was written out so that the movie could be sold to certain markets. Unfortunately, that means that the characters’ motivations are rather fuzzy. The subplot involving Interpol spying on Dirk ends about halfway through and we never quite learn how they knew about the whole Priestly Breastplate business, or why they were interested in it. I’m guessing they might’ve been the Mossad in a previous incarnation of the script. Moreover, we never learn what Dirk’s employers plans with the stones actually are. Does he just want to cut them and keep them in his personal collection? Does he have some sort of occult design on them a lá Raiders of the Lost Ark? None of that ever really gets explained.

 

“When Chuck Norris tells a joke about Will Smith’s wife, Will Smith slaps her.”

 

The action sequences were staged by Eric Norris, Chuck’s son. The gunfights are the most basic “point, shoot once or twice, guy goes down” variety. Chuck was 65 years old when the film was made, so there wasn’t much point in having him do over-the-top movie gun tricks. Norris is doubled for much of his fights, so I’m guessing that was Jeff Wolfe (Once Upon a Time in China and America) throwing most his kicks. The fights themselves are more punch-centric, keeping in with Norris’s diminished agility. There are some nice handwork exchanges between Chuck (and his double) and Bernhardt at the end of the film. They’re certainly better than the more static punching of your average Van Damme film. Bernhardt has a couple of fight scenes, against both Chuck and his brother Aaron, who plays an Interpol agent. Bernhardt gets to throw a few good kicks here and there. Aaron, who is also a bit older, looks like he may have been stealthier at that moment than his brother was, even though his fight scene is very short.

 

“When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”

 

I think one IMDB reviewer said it best when he said that The Cutter was a good 80s action film, but too bad it wasn’t the 1980s anymore. I’d say it was an early-mid 1990s DTV action film made a good 10 years too late. And to be horribly honest, I think I enjoyed the average Seagal opus from the 2000s more than I liked this.