Friday, October 21, 2022

Short reviews of Simon Yuen Siu-Tin Films

Ol' Dirty Kung Fu (1979) 
aka Drunken Master, Slippery Snake; Mad Mad Kung Fu
Chinese Title: 怪招軟皮蛇
Translation: Strange trick, soft-skinned snake





Starring: Cliff Lok, Peter Chan Lung, Lee Hoi-Sang, Simon Yuen Siu-Tin, Chiang Tao, Cheung Hei, Cheng Kang-Yeh, Wang Han-Chen
Director: Ho Meng-Hua, Yu Cheng-Chun
Action Director: Chin Yuet-Sang

One of dozens of films that were produced in the wake of Jackie Chan's success with his Yuen Woo-Ping collaborations, this one ranks on the lower end of "average" on the quality spectrum. The film is little more than a shoddy reproduction of sight gags and set pieces from both Snake in the Eagle's Shadow and Drunken Master, with an even *less* coherent plot than the latter. Simon Yuen Siu-Tin plays Sam See...I mean Beggar So...I mean Bamboo Stick, a powerful kung fu beggar. He saves the daughter of some family from a forced marriage to the local rich kung fu master's son (said master is played by Lee Hoi-San of The Magnificent Butcher) by beating him up and killing him via a mahjong title embedded in the forehead. The rich kung fu master vows revenge, taking his anger out on Bamboo Stick's student (Peter Chan), who works for an escort service. The student is framed for the theft of an important jade ring, and goes on the lam with a laborer (Cliff Lok). They spend the better part of an hour getting into random fights before the rich kung fu master catches up to them...

Some of the fighting, notably those that involve Lee Hoi-san, is pretty good, but nothing special compared to other kung fu comedies of the era. The mandatory training sequences in this are so short and perfunctory that I wonder why they were even included in the first place. I mean, other than justifying one of the film's titles, Cliff Lok wriggling under a bunch of benches doesn't really make much difference in both his fighting style or in the film's entertainment value. Considering that producer Ng See-Yuen had wanted Cliff Lok for the lead role in Snake in the Eagle's Shadow, this film stands as a glimpse into how *that* movie would've turned out had Yuen Woo-Ping had not convinced him to cast Jackie Chan instead. Yuen Woo-Ping made the right decision.


Iron Bridge Kung Fu (1979)
aka Mean Drunken Master 
Chinese title: 莽漢鬥老千
Translation: Reckless Fighting Lao Qian



Starring: Wang Kuan-Hsiung, Chin Feng-Ling, Simon Yuen Siu-Tin, Miao Tian, Tu Kuei-Hua,Shih Chung-Tien
Director: Wong Fung
Action Director: Wang Tai-Lang

Z-grade Drunken Master clone, this time focusing on another one of Wong Fei-Hung's contemporaries, Iron Bridge Sam. A bunch of evil fighters led by Dragon Head (Miao Tian) are gathered and sent to recover a jade watermelon, which a foreign collector is offering a handsome price for. The object is tracked to a town where Lung San (Wong Goo-Hung, of Swift Shaolin Boxer and The Lady Constables) works as a kung fu master's assistant. The evil kung fu fighters think that the watermelon is with the master's currest guest and a series of fights break out. Lung San is taught the Iron Bridge technique by a beggar (Simon Yuen) and fights the bad guys.

One problem with this film is a severe lack of focus. The movie can't decide who the main character is: Iron Bridge Sam or his female comic foil, 13 Points (Ape Girl's Gam Fung-Ling). Iron Bridge Sam has practically nothing to do during the first half hour, and even once the training sequences start halfway through, the film sort of forgets about him and Simon Yuen's beggar character, focusing on 13 Points' training with a female beggar, who turns out to be her mother. After almost 20 minutes ofscreen, Iron Bridge Sam finally returns to search for justice. It probably doesn't help that Wong Goo Hung, who's been better in other movies, is completely devoid of personality in this film. I guess this sort of role was better suited for a Jackie Chan type, as he's too serious and gets steamrolled into the background by Gam Fung-Ling's sassy personality.

Problems in the script and acting are further compounded by Wang Tai-Lung's lackluster action direction. I shouldn't expect much from the guy whose career highlight was Hsu Feng's Chase Step by Step, but man. The fights are stingy in both quantity, duration and just overall execution. Simon Yuen doesn't do any fighting, not even with a stunt double. Everyone else is just kind of bland. It all culminates in an extremely underwhelming final fight where the villains are defeated in a surprisingly easy manner. So yeah, there's no real reason to watch this turkey.


Ol' Dirty and the Bastard (1981) 
aka An Old Kung Fu Master
Chinese Title: 一老一少一根釘
Translation: One old and one young nail



Starring: Simon Yuen Siu-Tin, Charles Heung Wah-Keung, Cecilia Wong Hang-Sau, Yuen Lung-Kui, Thompson Kao Kang, Chow Siu-Loi, Sai Gwa-Pau
Director: Gwan Jing-Leung
Action Director: Simon Yuen Siu-Tin, Chow Sam, Chow Siu-Loi

Another grade-Z post-Drunken Master comedy and one of Simon Yuen Siu-Tin's very last films. I'm assuming it was released some time after his death. Charles Heung plays a guy who's studying under an old kung fu master (ha!), the latter of whom goes into hiding to recover from a fight he had some time before. He leaves Heung in charge of his niece (or nephew? the subtitles were wonky) and Heung takes the kid across the countryside to his home. At the same time, an old kung fu master (ha!) played Simon Yuen is leaving the house of the rich guy whose son (Yuen Lung-Kui, a lesser-known son of Yuen who was in Story of the Drunken Master) he'd been teaching, because he doesn't want to marry the kid's aunt (played by an man in drag with a head so big you'd think he was a bobble head). Meanwhile, the evil Lo Har (Thompson Kao) sends his men to Heung's house to kill his parents and kidnap his sisters (one of whom is Cecelia Wong) because he wants to marry one of them. They are rescued by the two Yuens, who eventually meet up with Heung and the kid. Simon Yuen teaches Heung a secret style and they all team up to defeat Lo Har.

Unless you're the staunchest of Simon Yuen completists (that must be a very small fraction of an already niche group), there's no real reason to watch this. The plot doesn't make sense. The characters barely register as one dimensional. The villain has no personality, nor does he have character, motives, or backstory. The action is generally uninspired until the final reel, in which it barely reaches "decent" levels. Charles Heung looks good  in his fights--he shows some crisp techniques--but is let down by the choreographers, which included Simon Yuen and Chow Siu-Lui, who hadn't a choreographed a film since 1960 when he did this. Simon Yuen does a bit more fighting without doubles than usual, at least until the finale, when his character starts doing more acrobatics. But yeah, just not very interesting or worth watching.

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