Ninja in the Killing Field (1984)

Ninja in the Killing Field (1984)
Aka: Killer Ninjas; The Ninja Connection
Original Footage:  หน่วยล่า 123 (H̄ǹwy l̀ā, Thailand, 1983)

 

Starring: Stuart Smith, Louis Roth, Sun Chien, Chiang Tao (Kong Do), Dorian Tan Tao-Liang
Director: Godfrey Ho (as York Lam)
Action Director: Chiang Tao

 

It has been said that when something is placed in front of us, it's human nature to try to make sense of that thing. So imagine my bewilderment as I watched Tomas Tang's Ninja in the Killing Field, a cut 'n paste ninja film from a period when those movies were absurdly common. The title promises the much anticipated marriage between the ninjasploitation genre and the non-existent Kmersploitation genre. The actual film, however, is your average "fight the Golden Triangle drug dealers in SE Asia" romp with some random ninja scenes thrown in. That might been fine in and of itself, but then the movie includes Dorian Delon "Flashlegs" Tan Tao Liang *and* Sun Chien in the cast and puts them in but a single talking scene. So my hopes of this being those superkickers' equivalent to Ninja Terminator were dashed to pieces. Boo.

But divorced from my own personal expectations, how was this movie? Let us find out.

We open with a bunch of ninja in black pajamas doing their thing inside a tunnel. Then cut to a darkened room where the ninja, led by a mustached guy in a red outfit with a purple shuriken headband (Louis Roth), are watching the events of the other movie on a television. This brings up one of my favorite cinematic questions: Why is it that in a lot of movies, when we see "footage" taped of some events from early on, they are never presented from the vantage point of the person recording? It's always the same scenes we saw presented cut for cut on the TV. Watch Mr. Nice Guy for a funny example of that.

The footage being watched is of a convenience store robbery in Bangkok. The robbery is foiled by a mustached cop with the help of the army (!!!). This display of bravado leads to the cop being enlisted by the International Anti-Drug Agency to take down the the Ninja Organization, who apparently was behind both the convenience store robbery and the local drug trade. Red Ninja is on to the law, and figures that there's a mole in the organization. Apparently the clan's female ninja used to date another ninja named Steve (Sorapong Chatree), but he left her and is now dating a girl named Susan and is a police informer. Kunoichi girl is sent to kill Steve, but after a katana duel in a stadium, is unable to do it (at this point I couldn't figure out if the original Thai movie footage had ninjas in it, or if Tomas Tang did an especially good job of camouflaging his new footage).

The Thai government asks the Internation Anti-Drug Agency for some backup, who comes in the form of Caucasian ninja extraordinaire Stuart Smith. He arrives in Bangkok and is immediately attacked by some ninja in disguise, but fights them off handily. So the Thai drug dealers react by bringing in a pair of killers, one of whom is a woman. This leads to an interesting scene in which one of the Thai thugs says that he doesn't think a woman is cut out for that kind of work, and that women are only good in bed. The woman gets up and says that if all the men in the room can beat her in a fight, they all can screw her (note: those are her words, not mine). Needless to say, she wipes the floor with all the challengers. Later on, one of the higher ups among the Thai drug dealers comes on to her.

"Didn't know that a woman with your fighting skills is such a good kisser."
"You're not so bad yourself. Didn't know that someone such as yourself, from the underworld, could be so gentle."
"Did your ninja training camps also teach you lovemaking?"
"They taught us to kill while making love. It makes the victims die in a state of bliss. Would you like to try that?"
"For you I would."

We then get another random fight between Stuart Smith and some black ninja underlings. The Thai drug dealers then send some henchmen to Steve's house to silence him. A big fight breaks out and we learn that his girlfriend Susan is actually a pretty good fighter. Steve's sister isn't, and she pays for that gaffe with her life. Following that, there's a big action set piece at the docks, but it's mainly gunplay. This is from the Thai movie footage. We should've got some woman-on-woman fighting from Susan and the Thai "ninja" girl from the previous paragraph, but alas, no. Just people getting shot to death. 

After everybody is shot dead, the Thai army leads a raid on the Golden Triangle, complete with tanks and heavy artillery. Spliced into the footage are scenes of black ninja underlings keeling over dead every time you hear an explosion. Finally Stuart Smith transforms into a yellow ninja and faces off with Louis Roth, who's no match for his ninja wrist blasters. The end.

The plot is mostly silly and incoherent, and the dubbing is frequently laughable. There's a bit where mustached cop guy (who's really the main character) is promised "air support, navy support and military support." Uhhh...yeah, I guess I shouldn't think about that too much. And yet, this is an infinitely more coherent movie than Fist of Legend 2: Iron Bodyguards, in which there is a rudimentary attempt to merge the two films into a single plotline (although why international drug dealing ninjas would involve themselves in convenience store robberies is beyond me...).

The action is frequent and ultimately average. About half of it is gunplay of the generic variety, and the rest is fighting. The second fight between Stuart and the black ninja underlings is probably the best, although Girls and Guns fans may enjoy the brief (if C-grade) fights involving the female characters from the Thai portion of the movie. I'm not sure which scenes Chiang Tao actually choreographed, but I'm going to guess that he did the newer footage. I don't think Hong Kong was exporting talent to the Thailand at the time. The Phillipines? Probably. Thailand? Not sure. But yeah, this one of those movies that you watch with people who are in the mood to make fun of something. And screw you people for having a movie that purports to star Sun Chien and Dorian Tan, and do nothing with them! [Dave Chappelle as Samuel Jackson] "Yes they deserve to die! And I hope they burn in hell!"