Kidnap in Rome (1974)

Kidnap in Rome (1974)
Chinese Title: 三傻笨探小福星
Translation: Three Stupid Detectives, Little Lucky Star

 

Starring: Bruce Leung Siu-Lung (as Bruce Liang), Meng Hoi, Cinzia Bruno, Enzo Monteduro, Rodolfo Licari, Leo Di Giannantonio, Stelio Candelli, Arturo Trina, Shirley Corrigan
Director: Ng See-Yuen
Action Director: Bruce Leung Siu-Lung

 

The influence of Way of the Dragon on this particular film is obvious, with a Chinese kung fu master working at a restaurant running around Italy beating the holy hell out of uncoordinated Europeans. It's also yet another entry in the pre-Drunken Master kung fu comedy series, with most of the non-fighting segments made up unfunny hijinks from its Caucasian stars. And even some of the fighting is played for laughs, in the sense that watching a diminuitive, prebubescent Meng Hoi spack the snot out grown men twice his age with nunchaku is funny. Unfortunately, the film is practically unwatchable tosh whenever star Bruce Liang is unleashing his patented kicks. And sadly, he doesn't do it enough in this film.

The grandchild of a wealthy man is kidnapped and the grandfather is the precursor to Mel Gibson's character in Ransom: he doesn't want to fork over the 10 million smackeroos the kidnappers are demanding. Instead, he hires three men: a Scotland Yard inspector, a French private detective, and an FBI agent to find the boy and bring him back alive. The problem is that these three are complete morons. They end up at a Chinese restaurant complaining at how doomed they are when they see a waiter, Shek Wu (Bruce Liang), sparring with the busboy, Robert (Meng Hoi). They decide that Chinese kung fu is the key to solving the case. Yes, they actually say that. So they convince Shek Wu to join their cause. Lots of stuff happens. Some people are face-kicked multiple times. A false lead in the case leads to a woman bearing her breasts to reporters for no good reason. The movie ends six minutes after the conflict is resolved. I scream "Halleluliah!"

The fights are mainly about Bruce Liang unleashing his roundhouse and spinning kicks on European thugs a full head taller than him. He also does a lot of Bruce Lee posturing. A few opponents look like they might know karate, but come across as sloppy. So the movie doesn't give Liang anything resembling a worthy opponent, not too unlike a typical Bruce Lee film. I think he gets about four fights in the movie, five if you count his brief sparring with Meng Hoi. Meng Hoi is a demon with the nunchaku, and watching him beat up a bunch of burly men is entertaining. At one point, one of his attackers says, "Bruce Lee?" when Meng whips out the chaku for the first time.

And that ending. So two people involved in the kidnapping include a supporting character's sister and her husband. In the end, Liang spies them giving the kid some cab fare and telling him to take a cab and get to safety. He decides to not kung fu the spit out of them and let them go. Suddenly, the police show up and arrest them. Liang says, "Come with me!" to his cohorts, as if he had a plan to get them off the hook. About five minutes later, after showing the couple get paraded around the police and finally escorted to some boats to be taken in--they're in Venice at this point--the film ends. What the heck? Did we need to see all of that? What was all that for? I thought Liang was going to tell the police that they had helped him bust the lead kidnapper, or that the three investigators were going to do that. But no, they get arrested and we still have to watch them get escorted out of Venice for five minutes before the darn movie ends. Boo, sir! I say Boo!