Angel Warriors (2013)

Angel Warriors (2013)
aka: Five Star General
Chinese Title: 鐵血嬌娃
Translation: Iron Blood Petites

Starring: Andy On, Xing Yu, Collin Chou, Yu Nan, Mavis Pan, Frieda Hu, Wu Jingyi, Wang Qiuzi
Director: Fu Hua-Yang
Action Director: Ma Yuk-Sing

I've been a fan of kung fu fighting women ever since Street Fighter II introduced Chun Li into the world. She was beautiful and could kick like the dickens, so I was onboard. So much so, that every time a new fighting game would come out, I usually found myself trying out the female characters first (i.e. Mai Shiranui in "Fatal Fury II"; Janne d'Arc in "World Heroes"; Mileena in "Mortal Kombat 2").   And then when I got into Hong Kong cinema in the late 90s, and discovered that they had action movies full of beautiful women who could fight like the dickens, I was in heaven. Films like Yes, Madam!; Wing Chun; and Royal Warriors held exalted places in the annals of Chinese movies that my friends and I watched together back in the 90s and early aughts before I emigrated to Brazil. Obviously, those times have passed. Hong Kong action cinema is pale shadow of what it used to be, and is fading away fast. Mainland Chinese cinema isn't up to snuff, copying Hollywood's penchant for empty spectacle more than going for the hardcore action (although sometimes they get it right). But I'm always on the lookout for something that will bring me back to the fighting female days of yore, which is why I took a chance with Angel Warriors.

Kung Fu Hustle's Xing Yu plays Ah Sen, a member of the mysterious Tiger Tribe in SE Asian who ventured into the modern world and now makes his living as a jungle guide. His latest job is two-fold, take a group of National Geographic filmmakers led by Dennis (Zombie Fight Club's Andy On) into the forest to get footage of the Tiger Tribe. Also along for the journey are a quintet of extreme female backpackers, who have swam in the Mariana Trench and climbed the Himalayas, and now want to add "find a lost Thai tribe to their list of accomplishments." The five women are accompanied by a sullen-looking man named Lao Ying (Collin Chou, of The Death Games and Black City). He looks so aloof and withdrawn...can he be planning something?

Our first sign of trouble comes when the camp is attacked by a tiger, and camera crew react by shooting at it with Uzis. Not standard National Geographic, I reckon. Later on, the two groups separate and Lao Ying finds bullet casings for 9 mm rounds in the area, suggesting that modern man had been in the area recently. Suddenly, there's a big ambush and the Tiger Tribe warriors, many of whom are women, attack both groups. Most of the "camera crew" are killed, although they were firing machine guns at the natives, so maybe their motives weren't so noble after all. Ah Sen and Dennis get away with their lives; some of the girls are captured; while Lao Ying and the head girl, Baixue (Yu Nan of the Wolf Warrior movies), get lost in the jungle. We do learn that Dennis's intentions are indeed selfish, and both Lao Ying and Baixue will have to rescue their friends and contend with the reinforcements that Dennis is certainly going to return with.

Before I discuss the movie itself, I should introduce the female characters in a little more detail. Because a movie with a title like Angel Warriors should be about the butt-kicking women, right? Right?

As I said before, the leader of the group is led by Baixue, played by the aforementioned Yu Nan. Her character is introduced early on the director of a big company and expert motorcyclist. According to laws of filmmaking, Informed Attributes are like the "gun introduced in the first act": if you have to bring it up, that means that it will come in handy later on. In direct defiance with this rule, never once does Baixue ride a motorcycle. Bad B-movie writing there, folks! Baixue gets the most screen time, dialog and character of the five girls, and the most opportunities to emote.

Girl number two is Ah Ta, played by Mavis Pan Shuang-Shuang, who showed up in Treasure Inn and Beggar Hero. Ah Ta is introduced as an Animal Rights Activist, which means that she's going to befriend tigers before the film is over. Once the characters reach the jungle, she becomes the film's main Cleavage Delivery System, as opposed to...

Girl number three, Yanyan, played by Ameera's Frieda Hu. Yanyan is introduced more or less at a dance party in a dress that leaves her cleavage on full display. Her introduction describes her as a bar dancer with a penchant for kung fu, which leads you to believe that she will be the movie's primary Cleavage Delivery System. But it's a bait and switch, as I already mentioned (OBS: the poster for Ameera suggests that Frieda Hu embraces her role as Cleavage Delivery System in that film...yowza!). And about the kung fu Informed Attribute...she does a few slow-motion jump kicks but otherwise contributes nothing to the story.

Girl number four is Tongtong, played by Wu Jingyi. Her character is an archaeologist, but that just means that she'll be able to communicate with the natives in one scene. After that, she fades completely into the background.

The last of the Angels is Dingdang, played by model Wang Qiuzi. Her character runs an online business selling outdoor clothing, and her personality trait is that she's the pouty girl of the group. That gives her a little bit personality than the others (save Baixue), but it also makes you wish that the sleeping darts that she gets shot with at one point are actually laced with poison.

Since 60% of the main actresses show no discernible personality, which characters benefit the most from the "writing?" That would be Lao Ying and Ah Sen, the male characters...the male characters in a female-centric action movie get the most personality...Yeah, bad writing there. Lao Ying turns out to be a former soldier with a tragic past and an unrequitted love for Yu Nan. He gets the best character arc and even the denouement is more or less devoted to him. Ah Sen is the naïve idealist who gets his tribe into this whole mess to begin with, but he makes peace with his roots and becomes a badass fighter in the end. He wants his tribe to venture into the Modern World, but that leads to tragedy, so sometimes it's best for Stone Age Tribes to remain that way, like those nice folks on North Sentinel Island. As I said, those two characters get an arc...the women don't. They're just here to show their pretty faces, their cleavage, and occasionally do something action-related.

Speaking of which, the action here is furnished by genre veteran Ma Yuk-Sing, best known for being Tony Ching Siu-Tung's protégé. Ma has been deep in the game since the 1990s, but hasn't really received the critical acclaim his mentor has. He's only gotten two nominations for Best Action Choreography to my knowledge, for Big Bullet and The Storm Warriors, plus shared nominations with Ching Siu-Tung for Dr. Wai and An Empress and the Warrior (the latter being a Taiwanese Golden Horse nomination). Ma tends to work better in the wuxia genre, like in Bichunmoo and Shadowless Sword. He can do modern action, but I don't think it's his forté, unless he's already working with talented people, like Vincent Zhao in Fist Power. He does a solid job here, although he makes some questionable decisions. The biggest mistake he and director Fu Hua-Yang make are not giving any real fighting to Andy On. He kicks his adopted dad at one point, but nothing more than that. The big finale between Andy On and Yu Nan basically boils down to Andy On firing a pistol at her while she throws Batarangs at him in slow motion. It's kind of a neat visual, but a huge disappointment and a waste of talent nonetheless.

Xing Yu doesn't fare much better on the action side, mainly because his character is more of an observer to the events (the entire film is narrated by Xing Yu speaking broken English) until he steps up for the finale. When our heroes face off with Dennis and mercenaries at the end, Xing Yu springs into action doing John Woo-inspired slow motion gunplay, but with a bow and arrow instead. It's especially amusing to see people get knocked back several feet by an arrow. He does a few slow mo flying knee stomps against his opponents, but it's mainly stylized archery for Xing.

Collin Chou fares better, as he gets the most sustained martial arts of the cast. Around the hour mark, Chou goes all Rambo on the mercenaries, stalking and killing them throughout the jungle before he unleashes a few kicks and has a big knife fight with the mercenary leader, Black Dragon (played by Ryu Kohata). The choreography here is decent, although a far cry from the finale of Flash Point. There are some other knife fights later on between the girls and Black Dragon, although it's mainly slow-motion jump kicks broken up with some knife swinging.

While the film skimps on the femme fatale fighting, one detail I liked about the script is that the Tiger Tribe is full of warrior women. They explain this in that the women of the tribe have the duty to rear children, but also to protect the village while the men are out hunting and whatnot. As a result, the women are trained in archery, spear fighting and fighting with stone knives. That means that we get a handful of extra fighting women in some of the fights, including Ah Sen's fiancée, Princess Ha'er (Wang Danyi Li, of the Chinese Ghost Story remake). She gets to square off with Black Dragon's sister in one fight, who wields katana blades. Not a particularly standout fight, but decent nonetheless.

So does Angel Warriors live up to the title? Sort of, but only in the last 30 minutes. There are enough pretty girls and action sequences to make it a decent 90-minute time waster, but this China-Thai co-production does not live up to the standards set by Michelle, Cynthia, Yukari or Moon. This is a little more akin to "What if McG made a Charlie's Angels film set in the jungle?"