The Scissors Massacre (2008)

The Scissors Massacre (2008) Japanese Title: Kuchisake-Onna 2 Translation: Slit-Mouth Woman 2

Starring: Rin Asuka, Yukie Kawamura, Akihiro Mayama, Yôsuke Saitô, Mayuko Iwasa, Masashi Taniguchi, Kôta Kusano, Haruka Nishimoto, Miki Hayashi, Erina

Director: Kôtarô Terauchi

The Scissors Massacre is a sequel-in-name-only to Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman, made the year before. It is, in fact, an alternate take on the origins of the urban legend, basing itself on an unsolved serial killer case from the late 1970s in Japan. Although the film takes a sharp supernatural turn in the final reel, the movie is not so much a horror film as it is a tragic family drama and an indictment of Japanese society on the whole.

The film has three acts, each of which feel like a completely different type of movie. The focus is on the Sawada family, a well-to-do family in the smaller city of Gifu in the Gifu Prefecture. The patriarch (Yosuke Saito, of Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla and Crazy Samurai Musashi) runs a successful chicken farm that supplies eggs and chicken meat (presumably) to the local markets. He has three daughters. Yukie (Mayuko Iwasa, of 009-1: The End of the Beginning), the eldest, is about to get married. The middle child, Sachiko (Yukie Kawamura, of Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl), has moved to the city (which I assume is Nagoya) to work as a beautician. The youngest of the three, Mayumi (Rin Asuka, of the Kamen Rider W incarnations), is a high school student in her junior year. She’s a promising athlete and might have a future with her long-time crush, Seiji (Akihiro Mayama, of Liar Paradox).

So everything seems to be all peachy keen for the Sawada family, until tragedy strikes. You see, before Yukie got engaged to her current beau, she dated a fellow named Suzuki (Masashi Taniguchi, of the Kamen Rider Amazon incarnation). Suzuki never quite got over the break up and watching his ex-girlfriend getting hitched is just enough to set the little bastard off. A few days after the wedding, Suzuki breaks into the Sawada household and sneaks into Yukie’s old bedroom…the one she had handed over to Mayumi after the wedding. Thinking that Mayumi is his former flame, he dumps a vial of sulfuric acid all over her face. He proceeds to stab Mrs. Sawada to death, but ultimately get his head blown off by Mr. Sawada.

This is where things start going downhill for the entire family. Although Mr. Sawada acted in self defense, the locals are nothing but a no-good bunch of talebearers and rumor-mongerers. So it isn’t long before people start attributing all sorts of sordid motivations to Sawada’s actions. And although Mayumi survives her burns, her face is permanently disfigured, making her a pariah at school. Even Yukie is forced to move back home, since all the local gossip will be directed at her new hubby and his family if she sticks around. I mean, what the hell, people?

The first casualty of the Sawada’s family situation is the patriarch. His clients no longer want to be associated with a company whose owner committed murder, or even is the subject to a monumental tragedy. As the debts pile up, he ultimately decides to commit suicide and let the life insurance policy tie up his financial loose ends. Then there’s Mayumi, who is abandoned by everybody she has ever called a friend, including her BFFs Junko (Miki Hayashi) and Kaoru (Deadball’s Erina). And then she starts having visions of a mysterious woman in a red coat. As Mayumi’s life spirals further and further down the crapper, it won’t be long before the poor young girl finally snaps…

The Scissors Massacre is based on some incident in Gifu around 1978 in which a serial killer took the lives of some 13 people and injured more than 50…presumably with a pair of scissors. Nobody ever found out who the killer was, although a knife was found in the residence of the family represented by the Sawadas with the DNA of one sister on the handle and the blood of another on the blade. The sister whose blood was on the blade was never found. So, this movie suggests that said sister became the basis for the Kuchisake-Onna urban legend.

The first act of the film plays like a heartwarming teen/family drama, with a little bit of small town “slice of life” mixed in. Everybody gets along and each member of the Sawada family (sans the mom, who doesn’t really have a character) has a promising future ahead. The second act becomes this dark family tragedy and an attack on Japanese culture. Japan has a closed, homogenous culture that is prone to gossip and (unfounded) rumors for anyone unfortunate enough to shake the box. This movie brings that out into the open and man, what the actual F***, guys? It’s not enough that your neighbors have gone through a tragedy, but do you have to make up your own interpretations of “what” and “why” and pass it off as truth, too? “I heard it from a friend” my ass. It is that sort of attitude that pushes the entire Sawada family off the precipice in the second act.

Besides the social commentary, another thing I liked is the directing technique of ending each act with a spectacular outburst of violence. Although the film on the whole is a family drama (and a murder mystery in the last half hour), each separate section of the film is punctuated with a strong moment of intense gore. Suzuki’s attack on the Sawada family is extremely brutal, culminating in his losing part of his skull (and the goo within) from a shotgun blast. At the end of the second act, in which the film morphs into a murder mystery with supernatural overtones, we see one supporting character get brutally stabbed to death. And the film ends with several characters meeting their bloody ends, too.

The movie works better as a social commentary and true crime tragedy than it does as an origin for an urban legend. This is especially because the supernatural elements feel out of place in an otherwise realistic story—given its basis in true events. Also, the film is never very scary, but I doubt that was the intent. I also think the movie was a bit long, even at 98 minutes. A number of scenes could’ve been shorn by a few seconds and the film would have felt a bit more tight in its execution. Finally, with regards to the American release title, can a “massacre” only involve six people? That’s not a “Scissors Massacre,” let alone a “Scissors Bloodbath” or “Scissors Slaughter.” Six people may not even be a “Scissors Disturbance.” Six dead bodies may simply be a “Scissors Inconvenience.”

The Master Warrior by Scott Blasingame

The Master Warrior by Scott Blasingame

When one holds the final book of any given series in their hands, you know the author has done their job if this little ritual evokes a gamut of emotions. First, there is a certain sense of relief that the author put their entire vision on paper before being whisked away in dark, velvety robes of the Reaper (at which point, Game of Thrones fans' hands grow clammy). There is a certain sadness, mainly stemming from the knowledge that this is a farewell of sorts...to characters you've grown to love, a landscape you've come to admire, and a world you come to identify with.

One also feels anxiety, knowing that the stakes in this climatic offering are higher than ever. If the author has not been squeamish about killing off likable characters, how much more bold and brazen will they become as the protagonists and their opponents gather for the final showdowns, be they of whatever nature the author may choose. Alliances may shift. Values may change. Good may indeed prevail, but rarely does it without high costs.

Conversely, if the author has failed in their job, then one simply greets the bookending novel with a sigh of relief, ready to declare themselves victor of finishing another series, that they may move onto another. Thankfully, the emotions of the former scenario engulfed me as I removed it from the package.

Set five years after the events of The Warrior Lost, we open to rumors of war among the tribes that border the Valley of the Hand. The evil Rame of the Kudzu tribe (along with his neighboring puppet chieftains) is goading the other tribes into armed conflict. Meanwhile, Thorn is trying to live a simple, idyllic existence until tragedy strikes. He is thus propelled into the middle of the intertribal tension that threatens to boil over into all-out war. As he and his fighting companions--the Warrior-Sons of the good tribes and some other familiar faces--try to raise up allies, certain surprises (some good, some not) await him on the final leg of his journey.

The Master Warrior is a suitable finale to an action-packed fantasy series about a lowly man's quest for happiness amidst the political intrigue of the numerous tribes that inhabit his world. It draws upon all of Scott Blasingame's strength's as an author, from his vivid descriptions to his likable characters to the copious amounts of descriptive martial arts duels. The narrative wraps up the main overarching conflict, plus numerous character subplots, in a generally satisfactory manner. There is tragedy, to be sure, but it never seems forced nor gratuitous. There are moments of romance that will tug at the heartstrings, at least they tugged at mine. There was one evening in which I read more than 100 pages just so I could find out how one relationship was going to resolve itself. The book is a good example of an absolute "page-turner."

The last several chapters detail the final battles between the good guys and the bad guys. The final showdowns are just perfect in terms of their length, description and dramatic impact. Before that, there is a chapter that depicts a huge battle between different armies, detailed in such a way that both makes you fear for the "good side" while simultaneously never becoming incoherent. The battle sets the ground to resolve several personal conflicts that were started in books 1 and 2. If I have any gripes, it's that some of those showdowns were quite short, given the build-up in the previous books.

But all the action in the world can't make up for characters that we don't care about, especially in prose. Thus, I'm happy to report that Scott did a great job of writing the characters as they overcome both internal and external conflicts, both for the greater good and their own personal happiness. I found myself re-reading several chapters just so I could bask in the interactions between certain key characters, enjoying their growth and moments of joy and triumph. And that's just great writing there.

Fall of the King Saber by JF Lee

Fall of the King Saber by JF Lee

Author JF Lee continues his adventures of Swordsman Li Ming with Fall of the Dragon Saber, which is my favorite of his books up to this point. Full of entertaining characters, spirited dialog and lots of martial arts mayhem, Lee does justice to predecessors like Gu Long.

The story is set immediately after the events of Fangs of the Black Tiger. Li Ming has taken Shu Yan as his formal student and starts teaching her the Blue Mountain swordsmanship. Of course, they still bicker back and forth like they always have, although Li Ming does see some special potential within her. After some encounters with bounty hunters, the two undertake a dangerous journey back Tu'men, where Shu had worked in a brothel a year or so before. Once in the belly the beast, Shu and Li try to get the bounty removed from her head.

Meanwhile, rebel general Shazha Kui is pushing his rebellion forward and recruiting some of the most powerful names in the Martial World to his cause. And Li Ming will have to find some new techniques to complement his limited knowledge of the deepest secrets of the Blue Mountain in order to stand a chance against the General when their next duel comes around.

Like the other two books, the story is largely episodic, as our heroes move from one locale to anothre and get into all sorts of mischief while Li Ming has to balance out his training Shu Yan with his own preparations for his upcoming duel. There are lots of colorful characters along the way and we do learn a lot more about both Shu's and Li Ming's backstories, which gives them a lot more depth. I especially enjoyed the last third of the book once our characters return to Blue Mountain. Despite the story's episodic nature, the fact that we know it is building to a predetermined climax helps give the different subplots and side quests a unifying theme by casting an ominous shadow over all of their exploits.

The final showdown between Shazha Kui and Li Ming is one for the books. It is very well written and at the end, takes a page from films like Zu: Warriors from Magic Mountain and Strife for Mastery. The book ends on a hopeful note and I'm excited for "Echo of the Blue Mountain."

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman (2007)

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman (2007)
Japanese Title: Kuchisake-Onna
Translation: Slit-Mouth Woman

Starring: Eriko Satô, Haruhiko Katô, Chiharu Kawai, Rie Kuwana, Kazuyuki Matsuzawa, Kaori Sakagami, Sakina Kuwae, Yûto Kawase
Director: Koji Shiraishi

Kuchisake-Onna is a Japanese urban legend, sort of the Nihongo equivalent to our Bloody Mary, or Brazil's "Woman in the Bathroom." The gist of it simple: there is a mysterious, sinister woman in a raincoat and a facemask--Japanese people have naturally used that for years as a demonstration of courtesy--stalks people and, approaching a victim, asks them the age-old question: "Am I pretty?" If a person says "No," she stabs them to death with scissors on the spot. If they say "Yes," she removes the facemask to reveal a Glasgow smile. She then repeats the question. Once again, a negative answer will result in a good hacking-and-slashing. If the victim says, "Yes," she gifts them with a Glasgow smile of their own.

Some historians claim that there is evidence suggesting that the legend dates back to the Edo Period, possibly as far back as the 17th century. Others say that the legend started in the 1970s, when it really entered the J-Pop lexicon. During the height of the post-Ringu J-Horror revival, two low-budget films were made about the subject, both of which offering possible explanations into the origin of the legend. 

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman is set in modern times, coincidentally at a time in which the talk of the town in the Kanagawa Prefecture is...you guessed it...the Slit-Mouthed Woman. The movie never tells us why people are talking about the legend, and events in the film will make you wonder how the legend came about in the first place, but whatever. One day, there is a mysterious earthquake in Kanagawa. Following the tremor, our titular fiend emerges from the closet of an abandoned house and claims her first victim: a young boy.

Now we meet our main characters. There is Mika Sasaki (Tokyo Vampire Hotel's Rie Kuwana), a twelve-ish young girl whose home life sucks. Her mom, Mayumi (Chiharu Kawai, of LoveDeath and Mutant Girls Squad), recently lost her husband, and has turned to child abuse to deal with the pain. In an interesting scene, the school bullies (female, of course) start accusing Mika of being the Slit-Mouthed Woman the day after the aforementioned kid's disappearance, citing her use of a facemask. They then lift up the mask, see her bruised face, and promptly shut up. Mika's teacher is Kyoko Yamashita (Eriko Sato, who played the title character in 2004's live-action Cutie Honey), a young divorcee whose daughter resides in the custody of her ex-husband (a rarity in Japan). Kyoko tries to befriend Mika, although when the latter declares that she hates her mom, Kyoko's rather triggered reaction gives us some clues into what her former family life was like.

Anyway, school policy following the boy's disappearance is for the teachers to escort the children home, or at least a designated pick-up spot. Mika refuses to get into her mom's car and when Kyoko tracks her down, she witnesses the young girl getting abducted by the kuchisake-onna. The police assume it's all a kidnapping and hang out at Mayumi's pad 24/7 waiting for ransom call. Kyoko initially doesn't know what to do, until one of her fellow teachers, Noboru Matsuzaki (Pulse's Haruhiko Kato), approaches her and starts asking about her experience. Noboru shows her the picture of a woman, whom Kyoko identifies as the "kidnapper." He eventually reveals that the woman is his mother, who was a horrible, physically-abusive woman. One day, she "disappeared," along with his two older siblings.

Finding a dead woman who kidnaps people isn't the easiest task, although Noboru can make up for that via his "Spider Sense." He can here his mother whispering "Am I pretty?" when she's about to strike. By following the voice, he arrives at the home of the next intended victim: a young boy named Kita (Yuto Kawase). Kita is interesting in that the boy has a scrapbook of information about Kuchisake-Onna that he has accumulated...how? I mean, the movie makes it look like the woman started her attacks after the earthquake, although maybe she worked in waves and the earthquake sparked the next wave? I'm not sure. Kyoko manages to stab the Slit-Mouthed Woman to death, who turns out to be a housewife named Kazuko (Ryoko Takizawa, of Kaidan Shin Mimibukuro: Yûrei manshon).

So, is the curse over? Of course not! Don't be silly. Noboru starts hearing his mother's voice again and this time, the victim is Mika's best friend, Natsuki (Sakina Kuwae, who was a supporting character on "Junken Sentai Gekiranger," which later became "Power Rangers Jungle Force"). And since Kuchisake-Onna has taken a page from Denzel Washington's Fallen, she's a body jumper. And this time, she has possessed Natsuki's own mother!

The running theme of the movie is child abuse, especially that which is committed by mothers. Apparently, child abuse is a huge problem in Japan, which sports some of the highest rates in the world. Even the total number of reported cases of child abuse exceeds that of the United States, which is bigger and has a higher population. The problem is exacerbated by a social infrastructure that frequently kneecaps both foster and adoption services, often returning children to the root of the problem (even after adoption). Apparently, a survey of deaths caused by abuse performed by the Children and Families Agency in 2021 revealed that mothers were responsible for the lion's share of those deaths.

I won't pretend to know the reason why. I am not Japanese. I know little about local culture beyond Godzilla and Sonny Chiba. As Japan is a culture where being outwardly polite and not stirring the pot is something people are expected to do in order to maintain the status quo--that is, there is little room for individual expression--not to mention that mental health disorders (and services) have long been stigmatized there, I'm guessing people do not have healthy outlets for accumulated frustrations. So, perhaps one's own children (unfortunately) become the target for one's pent-up frustrations. I understand that economic pressures and the increase of single mothers is also to fault. That's my two cents on the topic.

The film addresses the topic--there are no fewer than three abusive women in the script--albeit not deep enough to explore the Why's of child abuse. The movie was made with local audiences in mind, so it's not meant to explain a phenomenon to us gaijin. Beyond that, the film is quite spooky. It has a minimalist piano score that adds to the atmosphere. There a few moments of powerful violence and children are not exempt from danger in this film. The last 20 minutes or so are very suspenseful and the denouement just piles on the tragedy. On the whole, the film is a worthy addition to the collection of J-Horror films made after Ringu breathed life into the genre, with some moments of strong violence, a memorable villainess, and a smidgen of social commentary. I've definitely seen worse out there.

Three (2016)

Three (2016)
Chinese Title: 三人行 Translation: Threesome (or “Three Pedestrian Walks”)

Starring: Vicki Zhao Wei, Louis Koo, Wallace Chung Hon-Leung, Lo Hoi-Pang, Eddie Cheung Siu-Fai, Lam Suet, Mimi Kung Chi-Yan, Timmy Hung Tin-Ming, Michael Tse Tin-Wah, Raymond Wong Ho-Yin

Director: Johnnie To

Action Director(s): Johnnie To, Jack Wong, Paco Yick

Three is an interesting mix of police procedural, hospital drama and action thriller. The film is set entirely in a hospital, principally in the recovery ward for neurosurgery patients. One of the leading surgeons is Doctor Tong (Vicki Zhao, of Shaolin Soccer and 14 Blades), who is brilliant at what she does, but is currently suffering from “overwork affects quality.” For example, one of her patients has recently undergone surgery to remove a tumor from his spinal cord, but now may be paralyzed in several of his limbs.

Things change (for the worse) with the arrival of an armed robbery suspect, Shun (Wallace Chung, of Drug War and Monster Hunt). Shun has a bullet lodged in his brain, courtesy of Inspector Ken (Louis Koo, of every Hong Kong film produced in the last decade). Ken would like for nothing more than to remove Shun and his yet-unseen cronies from the gene pool, even though Dr. Tong wants to save him…y’know, the Hippocratic Oath and all that. Ken is willing to stoop to corrupt cop-level trickery in order to get his way, although the alternative is that he himself will be a target for murder in the near future.

Thanks to Dr. Tong calling the number given to her by Shun for his “one phone call,” his partners in crime (including Timmy Hung) find out what hospital he is at. And although Shun is slowly dying of a brain hemorrhage, he still knows how to manipulate the situation until he finds a way to free himself, ending in a huge shootout in the ICU.

Three is a surprisingly short film, running about 87 minutes (including the end credits). The action is reserved for the last ten minutes or so, with the rest of the film alternating between the drama of Dr. Tong dealing with her various brain surgery patients and Inspector Ken trying to out-maneuver Shun (even though the latter is handcuffed to his hospital bed). I don’t know what the correct analogy would be, maybe a extra-long episode of “The Good Doctor” getting hijacked by an episode of ‘24’ in the final reel? In any case, the film derives its suspense from the audience knowing that Shun’s cohorts will come to spring him out—or at least assassinate Ken—but we’re not quite sure when or how.

When it does happen, there is the lingering question of: can it all have been avoided? To an extent, the answer is “yes.” One of the cops, the doofy klutz named Fatty (Lam Suet, of P.T.U. and The Legendary Assassin), does come across suspicious activities which will prove to be part of the villains’ plans, but instead of radioing it in and having the plethora of cops who are stationed at the hospital investigate, he tries to play hero and utterly fails at doing so. And we’re still not quite sure why Dr. Tong calls the number that ultimately alerts Shun’s buddies as to his whereabouts, although I think she thought that Inspector Ken was being a fascist by denying him his one phone call…or thought that she might get his friends’ permission to operate on him if she let him talk to them. 

The film’s calling card is a five-minute gunfight in the ICU, staged by Jack Wong (Warriors of Future), former Jackie Chan stunt team member Paco Yick, and Johnnie To himself. It is a fascinating sequence, filmed almost entirely in near-Matrix slow motion with the camera moving from one side of the ICU to the other in long, generous takes. We see people getting shot, flying through the air, firing their weapons, ducking for cover, etc. as the cops and robbers trade shots. Innocent bystanders erupt in clouds of red powder (a Johnnie To favorite) as they take bullets from both sides. The entire sequence is less about the people firing the weapons and more about the chaos that the gunfight itself creates. More than the upside-down gun fight in the Matrix Revolutions, this is a true successor to the infamous lobby shootout in the original Matrix film. 

The above shootout is such a neat scene that the concluding “showdown” between Ken and Shun is definitely a letdown, from the drama to the scene length to the bad green screen work. I think director To wanted to prove a point about Ken’s change of heart and the Hippocratic Oath winning in the end. However, after seeing so many innocent people get blown away, I’m sure the audience will mainly want to see the bastard go down in a hail of bullets, too.

The Legend of Zu (2001)

The Legend of Zu (2001)

Aka: Zu Warriors
Chinese Title: 蜀山傳

Translation: Legend of Shu Mountains

Starring: Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin, Louis Koo Tin-Lok, Cecilia Cheung Pak-Chi, Kelly Lin Hsi-Lei, Zhang Ziyi, Jacky Wu Jing, Sammo Hung Kam-Bo, Lau Shun, Patrick Tam Yiu-Man, Wu Gang

Director: Tsui Hark

Action Director: Yuen Woo-Ping

I would go on a limb to say that The Legend of Zu represented the first fruits of the international success of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. A costume fantasy? Check. An acclaimed director? Check. Yuen Woo-Ping directing the action? Check. A member of CTHD’s cast showing up for a paycheck? Check—in this case, it was Zhang Ziyi. 

For this particular effort, Tsui Hark, hot on the heels of Time and Tide, convinced investors to foot the bill for a big-budget remake of his own groundbreaking fantasy epic, Zu: The Warriors of Magic Mountain. Both films were based on the novel Legend of the Swordsmen of the Mountains of Shu by Huanzhulouzhu, although this film is almost completely unrecognizable from the earlier film, save for Sammo Hung wearing the same get-up he did that, and a brief moment where see Cecelia Cheung dressed in the same blue dress Brigitte Lin wore in the earlier film. Everything else is a bloated, incomprehensible CGI mess that is more exhausting to watch than anything else.

The film starts with some title cards and a narration informing us that the Shushan, or Zu Mountains, in the Sichuan province (bordering on Tibet) are the home to lots of legends and mysticism. The narrator informs us that the peaks of the mountains have become home to a race of demi-gods who train in the martial arts and use the region’s mystical energies to lead them into a constant state of rebirth, thus guaranteeing them immortality in this world. I guess the difference between that and the birth-rebirth cycle of regular mortals that is described in Buddhism is that the inhabitants of the Zu mountains who are reborn often do so as adults and can access their old memories from previous lives with enough meditation and martial training. So it feels less like living a new life than it is continuing an old one in a new body.

All of that puts the film into Xianxia territory, which is different from wuxia in terms of storytelling mechanics. Wuxia pian involves itself with the Wulin (i.e. The Martial World) and the Jianghu (i.e. the swordsman and martial artists who inhabit it) and although some of the esoteric martial arts styles may be outright supernatural, they are still people fighting against other people. Xianxia delves deeper into the fantasy genre, where the characters are often what sources call “Cultivators,” people who try to achieve immortality based on magic and supernatural powers, which are rooted in Taoism. Stories that involve conflict between heavenly, mortal and demon realms fall into the Xianxia genre. And The Legend of Zu ticks all of those boxes.

The film opens the Kunlun Peak in the Zu mountains, where Dawn (Cecelia Cheung, of The King of Comedy and Running on Karma) is passing her final teachings to her student, Sky King (Ekin Cheng, of The Storm Riders and Heroic Duo). Apparently, Dawn should be indestructible, but she has allowed her feelings for Sky King to keep her from reaching her potential. At that moment, a swarm of CGI skulls (referred to as “evil spirits”) show up and destroy Dawn. But she leaves her signature weapon, the Moon Orb—a large crescent blade that can fly around according to the user’s thoughts—to Sky King.

Some time later, the Ormei School, led by Whitebrows (Sammo Hung, of The Millionaire’s Express and Filthy Guy), is prepping its students to fight against the evil spirits, who are under the control of a powerful demon named Insomnia. There is a huge battle of CGI effects between Insomnia, Sky King, and Red (Louis Koo, of Paradox and Warriors of Future), who is Whitebrows’s senior student. The fight drags on quite a bit and, at one point, both men are forced to fight their clones. Whitebrows is ultimately able to defeat Insomnia, but a piece of him is broken off and flees into the Blood Cavern.

Our heroes can’t use their powerful weapons in the Blood Cavern, lest they get absorbed by the locale’s magic. So, Whitebrows leaves Red to watch over the entrance to the cavern while he reconvenes at the Ormei school to consult with Buddhist priest Master Transcendental (Lau Shun, of Swordsman and A Chinese Ghost Story Part II) as to how to defeat Insomnia. They come to the conclusion that the Heaven and Thunder swords can be combined to create a superweapon surpassing all limits. 

But to combine them requires something resembling a Dragon Ball Z level of fusion between their respective holders—Enigma (Cecelia Cheung again) and Thunder (Patrick Tam, of The Duel and A Chinese Tall Story). For the record, Enigma is, as you guessed, a reincarnation of Dawn. The two Ormei students attempt the fusion for the good of the universe. Thunder hesitates (or gets distracted or something) at the last second while attempting the fusion and blows up. 

Whitebrows and Transcendental are able to reincarnate Thunder in adult form as Ying (Jackie Wu Jing, of Wolf Warrior and The Wandering Earth). However, it will take time for him to re-learn his martial arts skills and become “illuminated,” which will allow him to remember his previous life. Whitebrows retreats from the Zu Mountains and leaves Sky King in charge of Ormei. Sky King tries to help Enigma recall her previous life as Dawn—and almost burns himself to death trying to transfer the ownership of the Thunder sword to himself. Meanwhile, Red is just chilling at the mouth of the Blood Cavern and befriends a little pixie named Amnesia (Kelly Lin, Fulltime Killer and Running Out of Time 2). She turns out to be a minion of Insomnia and possesses Red, transforming into an evil angel. Plus, there soldiers who fight with razor-sharp vertebrae swords, mystical blue flames, new weapons, a giant monster made of CGI blood, and Zhang Ziyi thrown in for good measure!

Watching The Legend of Zu is a frustrating experience. The movie has that same breakneck pacing that a lot of Hong Kong films, especially 1990s wuxia pian, have, but almost nothing resembling real exposition. The film depends on one’s familiarity either with the source material, of Chinese wuxia and fantasy tropes in order to understand the story. And even then, there are enough characters, powers, and secret weapons that there is no time to explore any of it. It almost feels like an RPG in which the dungeon master was just making up lore as he went along…or perhaps a particularly-involved hard fantasy novel series in which Tsui Hark adapted Book Five (of Seven) and left out all the backstories and magic mechanics described in earlier entries. It’s simply impossible to developing any feelings for the characters amidst the deluge of fantasy plot tropes thrown at the viewer at dizzying speeds and CGI miasma assaulting one’s senses.

The Miramax trailer for the 2005 straight-to-DVD release was rather dishonest. Zhang Ziyi was still basking in her fame from CTHD; Rush Hour 2; and Hero (“presented” by Quentin Tarantino) when this finally reached American shores. So the trailer was cut and narrated to make it sound like she was an integral part of the story: the human warrior who must team up with a god (Ekin Cheng) in order to save the world from Evil. Anyone who expected much from her was surely disappointed. Zhang Ziyi plays the daughter of a mortal general stationed in the lower heights of the Zu mountains who travels to the peaks in order to join the Ormei school. But she really does not contribute anything to the actual story and the resolution of the external conflict. It is mainly an extended cameo by someone who was really popular at the time.

Viewers who were hoping for Yuen Woo-Ping to give us more of his wire-fu magic like in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon will be sorely disappointed with The Legend of Zu. All of the action is CGI nonsense. Louis Koo’s Red is a little neat in that his initial form has him fighting with razor-sharp metallic wings like X-Men’s Archangel. But yeah, mainly “swords” that are manifested as beam weapons and stuff like that. The only real martial sequence is a brief sword fight between Zhang Ziyi and Wu Jing, which is not related to the actual narrative. It’s like the filmmakers said, “We have this martial arts actor and this actress that people think knows martial arts, we should probably have them fight…for some reason.” The choreography in that scene isn’t bad, but it is far from enough to satisfy fight fanatics. And to think that the entire film needed three action directors—assisting Yuen is his protégé, Ku Huen-Chiu, and Tsui Hark regular Yuen Bun—just boggles the mind.

Tsui Hark would follow this disappointment with Black Mask II and Era of the Vampires (aka Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters). It wouldn’t be until 2005 that Tsui Hark would get his touch back with Seven Swords, which was him doing for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and those films what his own The Blade had done for movies like the Swordsman trilogy and Butterfly and Sword. Frankly, he should have stuck making loopy Jean-Claude Van Damme action vehicles than a lot of these films. Heck, I would have liked to have seen a JCVD film choreographed by Yuen Woo-Ping.

Time and Tide (2000)

Time and Tide (2000) Chinese Title: 順流逆流 Translation: Forward flow reverse flow

Starring: Nicholas Tse Ting-Fung, Wu Bai, Anthony Wong Chau-Sang, Cathy Tsui Chi-Kei, Candy Lo Hau-Yam, Joventino Couto Remotigue, Joe Lee Yiu-Ming, Jack Kao Kuo-Hsin, Kenji Tanigaki, Cheung Hung-On, Raven Choi Yip-San

Director: Tsui Hark

Action Director: Xiong Xin Xin

Nineteen Ninety-Five was an uneven year at the box office for visionary Hong Kong director Tsui Hark. On one hand, his star-studded Lunar New Year offering The Chinese Feast was a massive success. On the other hand, his other two movies were two enormous flops at the box office. One of them was Love in the Time of Twilight, which had hoped to capitalize on the success Tsui’s The Lovers from the previous year. Even worse was the box office failure of The Blade, his deconstructionist take on wuxia pian and what would essentially be the nail in the coffin for the early 1990s wire-fu boom (save a couple of stragglers).

After that, he turned his sights to Hollywood, as his colleague and former collaborator John Woo had done and was seeing reasonably good dividends in so doing. After all, the turnover of Hong Kong back to China was looming on the horizon and nobody knew what would happen to people’s rights, let alone the ability to express themselves artistically. Much like Woo (and Ringo Lam after him), Tsui Hark’s arrival in Hong Kong was done via a Jean-Claude Van Damme flick, the deliriously entertaining Double Team. Unlike Woo, who worked with Van Damme when the latter was at the peak of his mainstream popularity, Tsui Hark was given these projects during the actor’s decline. Both Double Team and it’s follow up, Knock Off, were modest successes at best, if disappointments at the local box office.

Between 1996 and 1999, Tsui Hark only directed one Hong Kong production. That was A Chinese Ghost Story: A Tsui Hark Animation. Tsui had previously produced the popular 1987 fantasy film, which Ching Siu-Tung had directed. I have not seen it yet, but my understanding is that it falls in the realm of “pretty good,” with decent animation being disrupted by unconvincing CGI enhancements.

Time and Tide was supposed to Tsui Hark’s “triumphant” return to Hong Kong (live-action) cinema: a stylish action film with the heart that was missing from his two Hollywood outings. The film currently enjoys a 6.7 score at the IMDB, which suggest that he was mostly successful. There is still a contingent of fans who find the film soulless in comparison to his earlier movies. I find myself taking a middle ground between those felt that “the real Tsui Hark is back” and those who watched it and longed for the days of Zu: Warriors from Magic Mountain.

The narrative is…odd. Tyler (Nicholas Tse, of Invisible Target and Dragon Tiger Gate) is a barista working at some club in Hong Kong. One evening, he catches a lesbian couple having an argument: one of girls leaves in a huff; the other, Jo (Cop Shop Babes’s Cathy Tsui), goes to the bar in hopes of getting high. She and Tyler get drunk instead and Jo wakes up the next morning in Tyler’s apartment…in his bed. Jo turns out to be a cop and accuses Tyler of slipping her a roofie and raping her. In any case, Jo finds out that their drunken tryst occurred during her fertile period and is now pregnant.

Nine months later, Jo is a few weeks away from labor and Tyler is trying to help her (especially after discovering that she has left the Force). Tyler hooks up Uncle Ji (Anthony Wong, of Princess D and The Big Bullet), a former loan shark who now runs an unlicensed bodyguard business. In a series of bizarre coincidences, Tyler starts fantasizing about making a lot of money and moving the Brazilian coastal city of Aracajú (in the state of Sergipe) to start a new life. Meanwhile, in Aracajú, a team of mercenaries led by Miguel (Joventino Couto Remotigue, of Badges of Fury and SPL 2) is robbing an armored car with a box full of money. Miguel and his team work for a crime lord named Pablo Santosa (Raven Choi, of the Young and Dangerous films and Downtown Torpedoes). I guess all this is supposed to be a juxtaposition of one’s dreams of finding a paradise against the harsh reality of modern urban life anywhere, but it feels contrived.

On one of Tyler’s jobs, him and Uncle Ji’s team have to serve as bodyguards for a Mr. Hong (The Legend of Speed’s Joe Lee) at his birthday party. In attendance is Hong’s estranged daughter, Josephine (Candy Lo, of No Problem 2 and Vampire Super), and her husband, Jack (Taiwanese singer Wu Bai, who was also in Mrs. K). Josephine is pregnant, about as far along as Jo. It is suggested Mr. Hong disapproves of her marriage to Jack on account of social standings. There are rumors of an assassination attempt—Mr. Hong has some Triad connections—and it is Jack who informs Tyler of the assassins. Although Tyler thwarts the assassination attempt, Uncle Ji doesn’t see it and thinks Tyler is slacking off. Nonetheless, this is the start of a friendship between Tyler and Jack (and Josephine by extension).

It's at this point that things start to get complicated. Jack turns out to be a former mercenary from Miguel’s team. Moreover, he came to Hong Kong to “hide” the money from one of their jobs and more or less ducked out of the business. Well, Pablo Santosa and Miguel’s team are now in Hong Kong and need to shore up accounts with Jack. They give him a job: assassinate Mr. Hong (his father-in-law). He turns on Santosa and kills him instead. As Tyler and Uncle Ji were working as bodyguards for Santosa during the hit, Tyler finds himself drawn into the conflict between Jack and Miguel.

Time and Tide is weird in that it doesn’t feel like it abides by the typical three-act structure for cinematic storytelling. Instead, it almost feels like a movie in two halves. The first half establishes the numerous characters, their relationships with each other, and the external conflict involving the South American mercenaries. The second half is a running action sequence that starts at public housing estates in the To Kwa Wan district, moves into Kowloon station, and ends at Kowloon stadium. 

It is also a movie in which the main protagonist, Tyler, does very little to contribute meaningfully to the action. He really is just a poor sap who consistently finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time and survives thanks a combination of luck, assistance from others, and pure moxy on his part. He is almost the Hong Kong equivalent to Jack Burton when you think about it. Nicolas Tse actually does a pretty good job in the role, even though he is less of a badass than one might expect the main character to be.

That leaves the action duties to Wu Bai, playing Jack the Mercenary. I’m guessing that Wu Bai was heavily doubled during the action sequences, which require him to rappel his way through the stairwells of apartment buildings and slide around like Sub-Zero while firing guns with frightening accuracy. The actresses, Cathy Tsui and Candy Lo, have their moments, especially the latter. Much like Double Team, the climax does involve a pregnant woman, a newborn baby, and the very danger of the baby getting killed in action. But no explosions blocked soda machines here.

The action was staged by Xiong Xin Xin, who had been collaborating with Tsui Hark ever since the days of Once Upon a Time in China. Xiong had actually done some of the fight choreography for Double Team and astute viewers may find some similarities between the action in both films. The hand-to-hand combat is limited to what I would refer to as “wire-assisted grappling.” The gunplay is stylish, but in its own way. John Woo movies tend to be stylish, full of slow-mo and astronomical body counts. Johnnie To gunplay tends to be quirky in terms of the character interactions, accentuated by dreamy, surreal touches. 

The gunplay in Time and Tide tries to balance “stylish” and “acrobatic” with “tension-building” and “suspenseful.” There are some memorable moments, like Jack and Miguel rappelling of the sides of an apartment building while firing automatic weapons at each other, or a pitched fight between two men and a woman who has just given birth over a loaded gun. There is definitely a blackly funny aspect to the action (see also the scene where the SWAT team commander warns his men about how dangerous and “heavily armed” Tyler is, despite the fact that we the viewer know he has been carrying a toy gun for most of the film).

Time and Tide has style to spare. And it tries to tell a story. And it tries to have a human side to it. But different from other classics Tsui Hark has directed, these elements tend to get in each other’s way, especially when it comes to Tyler’s relationship with his baby’s momma, Jo. I think a little more could have been done with that part of the story. But if you like over-elegant gunplay, you might enjoy this. Personally, I prefer Double Team and Knock Off.